Welcome to Tuesday Tips, the best ways to feel good on the Internet. This week’s edition totally stressed me out because I thought I was going to write about things I learned from my job. But then I thought about it too much and started freaking out about how to be funny, what to include, how personal can I get, etc. So I had a mild panic attack, started resisting writing these hoes, and then woke up late this morning because I was dreading writing this post so much.
But life is supposed to be fun, and I’m just here to play. So anytime I get stressed out, I just remind myself that I shouldn’t do something unless it’s fun, and if it’s not fun I have to make it fun.
So when I’m freaked out, under pressure, want something really badly, AND want it to be fun, I remind myself to stop thinking, because thoughts are the only thing that can block the flow of well-being that makes life so fun and magickal. Then I do everything I can to stop thinking. Here’s what works.
1. Stay busy.
Start immediately. Chip away at your projects. Just keep going. Whether you’re inspired or not, just keep moving. If you have a deadline, just start stream-of-consciousness creating. Just DO IT. You only have to take one step in the right direction for the flow to pick you up.
2. Make a magick wand.
Use it. It might take a while to get used to, but you’ll figure it out.
3. Stop talking.
Omg, stop talking. If you’re talking, you’re definitely thinking, and you can’t hear what life is whispering to you. Just shush up. Shh. Zip it.
If you aren’t talking, but you’re still thinking, those thoughts are like unflushed turds in a toilet. Flush them out. Get rid of them, stat! I like to use prompts to keep me focused on the good thoughts. These always work for me:
- “I’m so grateful…”
- “I appreciate…”
- “I am…”
- “Dear Jessica…”
- “I intend…”
5. Keep your cool.
Tell yourself that if you fail, if that person leaves you, if you lose a limb, if your pet dies, if your house burns down, if you write a shitty Tuesday Tips, if your head falls off, no matter what happens, YOU’LL BE OK. Life is just a game. Whatever you’re stressed about, just let it go. If it happens, you’ll survive. Let go. It’s not scary. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Anything that happens is trying to help you. It’s a solution. Promise.
6. Just breathe.
Focus on your breath. Focus on your breath. Focus on your breath. There are no thoughts in the present, because thoughts are physical things, and the present is just a line between past and future. You can’t have a physical object in a line. There is no space. Focus on your breath, keep your focus on the line between past and future, and wake up in this crazy dream called life. Look around, and you’ll find your answer. You can listen to this song while you do it: