I’m A Money Animal

Addicted to Loving Myself

I’m A Money Animal

Addicted to Loving Myself
I feel the best I've ever felt and I'm still worried
Still worried
Still worried
Always worried

I've noticed I feel worried and that's ok.
I can let the flow through. I can remember who I am.

The going within
The constant going within
Am I missing out without
I have fomo
on the whole life thing
the whole world

Living in a snow globe
I can let the flow through
I can sit up straight
Watch my posture influence my attitude

I have a cat in my lap
Heat in the house
Food in the fridge
Music in my ears
Clean sheets on the bed
Hot water in the tap
Nearly 11 months sober
Nearly 11 months sober

And yet every day I feel like I did in high school. If today's really that bad, I can kill myself. But now instead of being so dramatic, I think, well if today's really that bad, I can go back to drinking.

But today is always good. It's just the worry.
The worry.
The worry.
Worrying.
I don't have any worries when I drink
No worries
That's why I drink
No worries
No worries
No worries
No worries
No worries

That's what I'm looking for
Letting go of worry
Feeling carefree

I feel unconcerned. Unconcerned.
I am unconcerned. I am unconcerned.

So happy and grateful the contrast creates. So happy and grateful to be aware of what my attention is on. Today during meditation I was able to feel what my attention was on. Three points: The mantra in my head (or lack thereof when lost in thought), the feeling of my hands pressed together, and the point my one eye was staring at. I felt excited because I could get my attention down to three distinct points. Usually it's jumping all over the place it feels like at least 10-100 points.

So happy and grateful to have the best wife in the world. So happy and grateful to be a money magnet. A money animal.

Wouldn't it be nice to have the best night of my life? Wouldn't it be nice to trust the process of life and feel carefree and unconcerned?

Wouldn't it be nice to lighten up and not be serious? Wouldn't it be nice to feel the best I've ever felt? Wouldn't it be nice to just love myself and not give a fuck? Wouldn't it be nice to trust the process of life... Feel unconcerned...

I trust the process of life.
I am unconcerned.

I am unconcerned.
I trust the process of life.

I've noticed I WORRY ALL THE TIME and that's ok.

I've decided to feel good about my worries. They're working themselves out.
Oh well.

What do I want?
Peace
Calm
Relax
To feel unconcerned
To feel as carefree as if I were drinking
To feel as unconcerned as if I were drinking
To feel carefree

To lighten up!
To have fun!
To burn with energy!
Not giving a fuck!

I intend to have the best night of my life. I intend to bask. I intend to enjoy my life and appreciate all I have. I intend to mind my own business. I intend to laugh and be fun! I intend to go with the flow. I intend to practice loving myself. I intend to be kind to myself. I intend to let go of my worries. I intend to feel carefree. I intend to be at peace with what is.

I INTEND TO NOT GIVE A FUCK!

I pray to stay sober today. I pray to let go of my cravings. I pray to deal with whatever it is giving me cravings. I pray to make my source my addiction. Addicted to source. Addicted to center. Addicted to loving myself. Can I please just be addicted to loving myself?!?!?!

I'm switching to the version of reality I prefer. In the reality I prefer, I am relaxed. I am at peace with what is. I am allowing well being to flow. I am allowing myself to shine. I am allowing myself to feel inspired. I am allowing myself to relax and enjoy and say yes and know everything is a solution. I am remembering to say
YES!
THANK YOU!

In the reality I prefer,
I am getting a massage. I am addicted to loving myself. I am unconcerned. I am carefree! I don't give a fuck!

I love it when I relax. I love it when I practice loving myself. I love it when I write instead of drink. I love it when I make my best work. I love it when I feel cute. I love it when I feel attractive. I love it when I surrender. I love it when I feel passionate. I love it when I bask. I love it when I like being sober. I love it when I feel good about myself and my life and how I spend my time. I love it when I live the day with energy and delight and presence.

I love it when I trust the process of life.
I love it when I love myself.
I love it when I don't give a fuck.
I love it when I am my reason for feeling good.
I love it when I feel free and carefree and unconcerned.
I love it when I relax into the present moment. I love it when I surrender. I love it when I feel fit and healthy. I love it when I mind my own business.

Dear Jessica,
Surrender is something that happens right now. Just do it. Surrender. Become transparent. Let it all pass through you. You are in the right place at the right time. Surrender now. Let it go.

Jessica Mullen

Living the magick life.