I Am So Relieved

Jessica Mullen
So happy and grateful to be awake and alive! So happy and grateful to be here now! So happy and grateful to have Nicki in my ears! So happy and grateful I know the wave is coming! So happy and grateful to feel at peace with what is!

Breathing in I feel then see
Breathing out I'm doing me

So happy and grateful to feel lighter every day. So happy and grateful to be transmuting my contrast. What is it making you ask for?

Love
Love
always love

I want a way to bless the world with every thought... I want to project more love

I want to love more
I want to stop criticizing
I want to stop doubting and second guessing myself

So happy and grateful to feel better and better as the night goes on. So happy and grateful to be in control of my attention. So happy and grateful to be practicing mind training. So happy and grateful to be in perfect health. So happy and grateful I can focus and allow. So happy and grateful I can let my thoughts go.

Breathing in I feel then see!
Breathing out I'm doing me!

I'm letting the government and the world get in because I feel "compassion". All those people hurt so bad. They're so mad. Who am I to feel good when they're all so mad and sad?

It makes me mad and sad.

But of course it's all a reflection of me.
This law of attraction science/philosophy is scary.
How can I risk enraging others?
How can I risk making others mad?
How can I risk having an unpopular opinion?

Breathing in I feel then see
Breathing out I'm doing me

Every time I remember I feel then see, I feel a boost. I feel the excited tingle of magick. I'm the creator. I'm in control. I don't even have to fuck around in my thoughts. I can go straight to feeling. I can go straight to my nature of being cheerful, hopeful, idealistic, optimistic, creative. I can stop caring about the weaknesses: the blindness, the second-guessing, being easily influenced.

Breathing in I feel then see!
Breathing out I'm doing me!

I have big milestones in my life regarding feeling then seeing.
I remember really wanting to get into UIUC, but training myself to not care because I could go to the same school as my bf. I remember being in a library... or a gym... I remember the point when I was like, fuck it, if I get attached to the outcome it's not going to work out. And I stopped thinking about it. Let it go. I got in.

There was a summer when Kelly and I started silent counting as a meditation practice. Day after day we'd bike 8 miles to and from work, counting and counting and counting. I remember feeling very plain at the time, like nothing exciting was happening. But I felt very still, and one day I had an ecstatic experience while meditating. Shortly after all this meditation, we met and fell in love with this woman at the gym... I consider her to be a manifestation of all the stillness and focusing on feeling good regardless of outside circumstance. She was such a blessing.

Breathing in I feel then see!
Breathing out I'm doing me!

Everything I've ever manifested, it came after I stopped wanting it. When I resigned myself to not getting it. When I found another way to feel good.

Every day, my life is finding another way to feel good.

Breathing in I feel then see!
Breathing out I'm doing me!

So happy and grateful I can let go of my anger and irritation. So happy and grateful I can remember

Breathing in I feel then see!
Breathing out I'm doing me!

I have to remember I am the source. I am allowing myself to feel better! I am allowing myself to remember my power

I keep getting distracted, wanting to feel bad. My throat hurts. I'm annoyed.

Breathing in I feel then see!
Breathing out I'm doing me!!

Breathing in I feel then see!
Breathing out I'm doing me!

Wouldn't it be nice to get better at training my attention?
Wouldn't it be nice to get better at choosing how to feel?
Wouldn't it be nice to remember I can just go to my natural state of being?
I can get out of my head
I can count
I can welcome my thoughts
I can relax
I can love myself
I can be light

Breathing in I feel then see!
Breathing out I'm doing me!

PLAYFUL and
SPONTANEOUS!
and
BRAVE!
and FUN!

Wouldn't it be nice to make my best work?
Wouldn't it be nice to feel SUPER INSPIRED
SO PASSIONATE

WOuldn't it be nice to remember I AM THE CREATOR AND I GET TO DECIDE?

Breathing in I feel then see!
Breathing out I'm doing me!

Wouldn't it be nice to relax and let go of all this pressure on myself? Wouldn't it be nice to allow and let go and trust?

I am allowing
I am letting go
I am trusting

Breathing in I feel then see!
Breathing out I'm doing me!

BReathing in I feel then see!
Breathing out I'm doing me!

I can do it in thought or I can just
GET UP THERE
I can just choose,
I am feeling better!
i feel myself putting on the brakes
naw i don't want it to be that easy
i want life to be hard

Breathing in I feel then see!
Breathing out I'm doing me!

Breathing in I feel then see!
Breathing out I'm doing me!

So happy and grateful to be in control of my vibration.

Wouldn't it be nice to have the best night of my life? Wouldn't it be nice to practice training my attention MORE? Wouldn't it be nice to feel like I'm winning? Wouldn't it be nice to feel like the MOST FOCUSED PERSON IN THE WORLD. Wouldn't it be nice to feel like I'm 100% in control and aware of my attention? WOuldn't it be nice to stop feeling like a victim? Wouldn't it be nice to say
YES!
and
THANK YOU!

Breathing in I feel then see!
Breathing out I'm doing me!

I've noticed I want to be better and that's ok!
I've decided to feel good about who I am. It's working itself out!

I intend to have the best night of my life. I intend to make my best work. I intend to FEEL THEN SEE. I intend to be aware and conscious and light. I intend to play and be brave! I intend to remember FEEL THEN SEE! I intend to DO ME!

I pray to stay sober today. I pray to be at peace with what is.

Thank you for the perfect health
THank you for the running water and hot water and gas and heat
Thank you for the flow and ease and inspiration
Thank you for helping me turn the boat
Thank you for the next upswing
Thank you for the good story
Thank you for the inspiration
Thank you for the success
Thank you for the winnings
Thank you for the patience
Thank you for the glory!

I'm switching to the version of reality I prefer. In the reality I prefer,

I am at peace with what is
I feel then I see
I'm doing me
I love myself
I don't give a fuck
I am 100% in control of my attention
I am relaxed and in the flow
I am spontaneous and loving and playful and brave
I AM THE CREATOR
I am doing everything right
I am say yes
I am grateful
I am allowing
I am one with life
I am so relieved
I am so relieved
I am so relieved