I went and chugged my coffee, fed my cats, and reminded myself to start counting. Yesterday I made it a point to do silent counting as my simran and it worked like a charm. I got so much done and went to bed feeling fabulous.
I don't think I even got to 200 today. I took my cold medicine, the wife gave me a neckrub, and I did a quick job for an awesome new client. Right after I finished, she paid right away and then gave me a sweet testimonial on Facebook.
I looked in my inbox and saw all these payments from clients and book sales and digital downloads. I looked in my inbox and saw the email from a client yesterday, saying, "Thank you so much, this is exactly what I want." I've never had a client say that to me before.
I scrolled through my Facebook profile and saw all the people tagging me, thanking me and saying they miss me and appreciate me. And it hit me. I LOVE MYSELF. And now I had the evidence. People were giving me attention. And when I looked at my facebook profile, I felt real, true LOVE for myself. I felt like a good person, doing good things. Guys, I did it. I LOVE myself. Holy. Shit.
I've been practicing thinking "I love myself" with about 87% devotion for about six weeks. Being sober really helps me keep the thought going, since I'm not blacked out every night, having to start at 0 again the next day.
I record meditations about it. I write it in my journal. I write it in my blog. I wish for it in my MMM. I printed it on a sweatshirt. I co-create zines about it. I love myself. I love myself. Breathing in, I love myself. I email people about it. My best email penpal and I talk about the magick power of "I love myself" for days on end. Breathing out I love myself.
It's working. The mantra is working. Even though I didn't believe the thought at first, it's starting to stick. Just because I kept thinking it over and over. Kept putting my attention on it, even when it seemed like it wasn't working.
It's working. I love myself. I just had to stick to it. Believe in it. Believe that all this law of attraction / thoughts-creating-reality stuff is TRUE.
It's working. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I loved myself before I had proof. And now I love myself, and the proof is revealing itself right in front of my eyes, in every aspect of my life. I didn't have to force anything. All I had to do was deliberately choose to focus on the thought as often as I possibly could.
It's working. I love myself!