Doing My Best!

Jessica Mullen
So happy and grateful to be awake and alive. So happy and grateful I can relax and let go. So happy and grateful to remember I can love myself. So happy and grateful to remember I don't have to give a fuck. So happy and grateful to have whatever music I want whenever I want. So happy and grateful I can focus my attention on what I want and what I want more of. So happy and grateful I can choose to mind my own business. So happy and grateful for yoga trapeze and trigger point massage and keyboard and snow days. So happy and grateful for beautiful weather and passive income. So happy and grateful to be at peace with what is. So happy and grateful to relax into the now. SO happy and grateful to NOT GIVE A FUCK! So happy and grateful to be feeling energized.

So happy and grateful to be in the right place at the right time. So happy and grateful to feel light and strong. So happy and grateful to love myself exactly the way I am. So happy and grateful to be choosing something different. SO happy and grateful to be my reason for feeling good. SO happy and grateful to always have plenty. So happy and grateful I can relax and say I love myself and thank you. So happy and grateful I don't have to care!!!!!!!

Wouldn't it be nice to feel ENERGIZED?! Wouldn't it be nice to feel a little BOOST?! Wouldn't it be nice to feel HIGH and FUN and HAPPY?! Wouldn't it be nice to ENJOY the MOMENT?! Wouldn't it be nice to have good dreams? WOuldn't it be nice to FOCUS?!!

Wouldn't it be nice to HAVE FUN?! Wouldn't it be nice to FEEL FUN?! Wouldn't it be nice to feel HYPHY?! Wouldn't it be nice to stop glamorizing DRUGS?! Wouldn't it be nice to BE MY OWN DRUGS?! WOuldn't it be nice to make something new?! WOuldn't it be nice to do something new?! WOuldn't it be nice to write a great article?! WOuldn't it be nice to surrender and not give a fuck?!?!?! Wouldn't it be nice to actually LOVE MYSELF?!?!?!?!?!?!

I've noticed I'm irritable and that's ok!
I've noticed I'm jealous of addicts and that's ok!
I've noticed I feel bored and that's ok!
I've noticed I want to have fun and that's ok!
I've noticed I hold limiting beliefs about what constitutes fun and that's ok!
I've noticed I've been having uneasy dreams and that's ok!
I've noticed I want more out of life and that's ok!
I've noticed I wish I would create more and that's ok!
I've noticed I'm jealous of these people on twitter and that's ok!
I've noticed I want something outside of me to make me feel good and that's ok!
I've noticed I feel lazy af and that's ok!
I've noticed I feel guilty about not DOING ENOUGH and THAT'S OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've decided to feel good about my productivity. It's working itself out. I've decided to feel good about my meditation videos. They're working themselves out. I've decided to feel good about how JUDGEMENTAL and JEALOUS and MANIPULATIVE I am. It's working itself out!

I've decided to feel good about how self deprecating I am! It's working itself out! I've decided to feel good about my lack of focus! It's working itself out! I've decided to feel good about how I'm spending my time! It's working itself out!

What do I want?
to feel the best I've ever felt!
to let go of my thoughts!
to focus my attention!
to count or say i love myself or something!
to have singular focus!
to feel good about myself!
to feel good about how i spend my time!
to make my best work!
to have fun!
to glamorize myself and my own life!
to appreciate what i have!
to feel grateful and confident and loving!

I intend to have the best day of my life. I intend to be my reason for feeling good. I intend to not give a fuck. I intend to let go of my resistance. I intend to NOT CARE. I intend to stop caring! I intend to SURRENDER! I intend to laugh and play! I intend to like myself! I intend to appreciate what I have! I intend to celebrate! I intend to FEEL FREE. I intend to feel passion. I intend to create my best work. I intend to feel the best I've ever felt! I intend to like myself. I intend to love myself. I intend to take care of myself. I intend to MAKE PEACE with WHAT IS. I intend to say THANK YOU. I intend to WAKE THE FUCK UP.

I pray to stay sober today
i pray to stay sober today
i pray to stay sober today
i pray for these cravings to go away
i pray to like who i am today
i pray to enjoy my life today

I'm switching to the version of reality I prefer. In the reality I prefer,
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!
I LOVE MYSELF!
I AM MY REASON FOR FEELING GOOD!
I LIVE THE MAGICK LIFE!
I AM AT PEACE WITH WHAT IS!
I AM LETTING GO OF MY RESISTANCE!
I AM ALLOWING WELL BEING TO FLOW!
I AM APPRECIATING WHAT I HAVE!
I AM IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME!
I AM DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT!!!!

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

I love it when I write. I love it when I feel the teeniest tiniest bit better. I love it when life is fun. I love it when i feel IN CONTROL. I love it when I LET GO OF CONTROL. I love it when I feel INSPIRED. I love it when I feel good about my life and how I spend my time. I love it when I don't GIVE A FUCK!!!!!! I love it when I love myself! I love it when I feel the way I want to feel: HAPPY TO BE ME.

Dear Jessica,
Relax and breathe. You are still here. You are doing such a good job. Be kind to yourself. You have come to far. You have already done enough. It's ok to surrender. It's ok to let life live you. Let go and let the flow through you. You don't even have to think about it. You can let go. You can let go now.

Let the flow come into you now. Let your guilt and shame and sins wash away. You are perfect as you. The skins are being stripped away to reveal the diamond within. You can let go. You can let it through. Relax and say yes. Relax and know it's all on the way. You can let go.