So happy and grateful to be awake and alive! SO happy and grateful to feel good now. So happy and grateful to have enough. So happy and grateful to always have plenty. So happy and grateful to feel lucky. So happy and grateful to feel blessed. So happy and grateful writing always works. So happy and grateful to feel abundant and prosperous. So happy and grateful the prosperity plan works every time. So happy and grateful "I lift my mind and heart to be aware, to understand, and to know that the divine presence I AM is the source and substance of all my good."
So happy and grateful to be reading the Surrender Experiment again. So happy and grateful to have a wife that loves me. So happy and grateful to always have what I need.
So happy and grateful to have family who loves me. So happy and grateful to have plans to see them. So happy and grateful I can breathe and relax. So happy and grateful to feel inspired and excited about life. SO happy and grateful I can let go of my worries. SO happy and grateful to feel at peace with what is.
SO happy and grateful to feel supported. SO happy and grateful to let the flow take care of it. So happy and grateful the flow always knows. SO happy and grateful to have a standing desk when I need it. So happy and grateful to be sober for so fucking long omfg.
Here's what's up with being 574 days sober from alcohol.
- It's easier. It's more common for me to be sober than drunk. I've been sober the whole time I've lived in this town so everyone knows I don't drink. It's easy to order red bull or soda water or diet coke at bars. I rarely consider buying alcohol when I'm out.
- Around 5-6pm, a few times a week, I consider throwing in the towel. Happy hour is the number one "trigger" time for me. If I can make it past dinner the cravings usually pass.
- Food really really helps the cravings pass. Being hungry = craving alcohol.
- Remembering the hangovers always always stops me from drinking. I cannot go back to that life. It was not worth the pleasure of numbing my mind.
- The people around me drink far less over time. K drinks maybe 1 beer a week. When friends hang out, they have a few drinks, not a dozen shots. Turns out I really was the bad influence lol.
- Drunk people are really not attractive.
- I lost maybe 10 pounds overall from giving up drinking. I have less of a gut. I thought it would be more dramatic. But the thought of "getting fat" again really helps me not drink again.
- I thought quitting drinking would turn me into a motivated morning person who works out every single morning but NOPE! I exercise less now than I did when drinking... But a lot of circumstances changed in the last year. No excuse. More exercise please!
- We have saved so so so much money not drinking. Probably $75-$100 a week. So like $8k overall!
- We're transitioning to a mostly vegan diet which we did do before when I was drinking. But it seems harder to do when NOT drinking. I guess I get a lot of pleasure from food that used to be from drinking, so taking away some "comfort foods" is really hard. NEED. TO. SELF. MEDICATE.
- The common theme that I've found is that I'm always trying to escape my life. I just stopped taking kratom after taking it for 5 months, and that was definitely an escapist drug. I did really really like it. Glad to be off it. Really trying to escape life less. That's my new goal, my new focus. To STAY.
- We're considering buying a damn ass HOUSE now. When we lived in Austin we didn't even have money for rent!!!!!!!!!!! It's been about 1.5 years since I got sober and things have been going SO MUCH BETTER financially.
- When I think about going back to drinking, it feels like giving up. Like failing. Like committing suicide. Like, if I can't enjoy my sober life, I don't want to be here. So that's what I'm also focused on: enjoying life. Stay here and enjoy.
- So I'm trying to do things like travel more. After my grandpa died, I decided to stop ever waiting to enjoy life. If I want to do something (like travel or see a show), I save for it, then I spend that shit. The fact that we have a "travel" savings account is just a GODDAMN FUCKING MIRACLE.
- It is SO MUCH EASIER to work on and keep up with our business. I drag my feet less and less every day. All of that admin shit like taxes and wordpress maintenance and folding zines is so much easier without a hangover!
- I know in my heart of hearts, that if I really want to have a good day, I better COUNT! And when I count to 8000 or so, I have the best day of my life (sometimes the next day ;-)) Anyway, if you're looking to escape your thoughts AND improve your immediate future, start silent counting today! Right now! It creates the nicest manifestation bubble around you! Takes the drama away! Makes you calm! Gives you ideas! Shit, I'm on it! Here we go!
Wouldn't it be nice if it got easier and easier to not drink?
Wouldn't it be nice to have the best night of my life and remember to COUNT?
Wouldn't it be nice to count late at night more?
Wouldn't it be nice to read my books?
Wouldn't it be nice to read a chapter a day?
Wouldn't it be nice to exercise more?
Wouldn't it be nice if Cleveland was the spot?
Wouldn't it be nice to write every day again? Wouldn't it be nice to follow through on my "habits" more?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
- to feel motivated and invigorated about working tonight
- to feel like running tomorrow
- to read more!
- to remember: stay here and enjoy!
- to remember: COUNT!
- for it to be easier to eat vegan
- to stick to what I say I'm going to do
- for CLE to be the SPOT!
- to unlock the key to motivating myself to exercise EVERY DAY and exercise hard! like running and pushups. and les mills classes. every day. biggest wish. to exercise for me, because i want to, every day
Prepave! Moving to Cleveland!
What's the best that could happen before?
Perfect house, perfect loan, perfect neighborhood. Easiest trips there. Love the city. Fall in love. Feel in love!
What the best that could happen during?
Everything we ever wanted! Pinhead solution! Income just keeps increasing!
How do you want to feel after?
RELIEF! Fun! Like life is starting again! Confident! Excited! Abundant! Prosperous!
I am a powerful witch. I command myself to STAY and ENJOY!
I am a powerful witch! I command EFFORTLESS EXERCISE DAILY.
I am a powerful witch! I command love love and love!
I've noticed I'm anxious and that's ok!
I've decided to feel good about anxiety. It's working itself out!
I'm 35 fucking years old! It's time to go hard!
I intend to have the best night of my life.
I intend to do the work more. Stay sober, eat vegan, write, meditate, exercise, every day. Work on the School every day. Stay. Stay and enjoy. Stay and enjoy. Stay and enjoy.
I intend to stay and enjoy.
I pray to stay sober today. I pray to stay and enjoy.
I'm switching to the version of reality I prefer. In the reality I prefer, everything is working out for me. I trust the process of life. I am staying and enjoying. I am learning to be here now. I am present. I am enjoying. I am loving my life. I am free. I am a spellcaster. I am in perfect health. I am doing everything right. I am letting life live me!
I love it when I write. I love it when I do the work. I love it when the kitties are happy and healthy. I love it when k and I get along. I love it when I write, jeez! I should do this every day lmao! WHY DO I RESIST DOING THE THINGS THAT FEEL THE BEST?!
Relax. Let the worries go. Stay here and enjoy! It's all for you!