Author: Jessica Mullen

Jessica Mullen

Emotional Freedom

Jessica Mullen
So happy and grateful to be emotionally free! So happy and grateful to have emotional freedom! SO happy and grateful for great sex! So happy and grateful for my beautiful perfect wife! SO happy and grateful to feel the best I've ever felt! So happy and grateful it's October! So happy and grateful for the beautiful weather! So happy and grateful to be at peace with what is! So happy and grateful to have a new/old technique to bring back! So happy and grateful to feel good about my life today! SO happy and grateful to feel like I have a solution!

SO happy and grateful to have good music to listen to! SO happy and grateful to love myself! SO happy and grateful to not give a fuck! SO happy and grateful to be a powerful witch! SO happy and grateful to live the magick life! SO happy and grateful to feel at peace with what is!

So happy and grateful to feel energized and focused. So happy and grateful to be in the flow. So happy and grateful to let go of my worries! So happy and grateful to be resolving ancient issues! So happy and grateful to feel light and free! So happy and grateful life is taking care of me!

Wouldn't it be nice to have the best day of my life? Wouldn't it be nice to find some good music that wasn't about drinking and drugs? Wouldn't it be nice to play some music today? Wouldn't it be nice to make my best work today? Wouldn't it be nice to make huge progress on Cult of Counting today? Wouldn't it be nice to write a lot for it today? Wouldn't it be nice to get a big payment today? Wouldn't it be nice to do EFT every day? Wouldn't it be nice if it really was the solution I've been searching for?

Wouldn't it be nice to let go of my worries and just float downstream? Wouldn't it be nice to feel really energized and inspired to work? Wouldn't it be nice to
- work on CoC - write and get 10 more grids done
- go on a walk
- feel calm and patient and in love
- do EFT whenever I notice a disturbance
- record my best video yet
- make a little progress on my site
- ship our orders
- and have the best day of my life?!

I WANT

  • massage
  • to be kind to myself and float downstream
  • to feel brave and courageous!
  • to receive so much positive attention
  • to follow through on CoC
  • to make music!
  • to get 20k today
  • to be so madly in love with myself!
  • to feel adored by myself and others
  • to hoop! and play! and laugh!

Prepave! Thursday Workday
What's the best that could happen before?
in love with myself! resolving life long issues!

What’s the best that could happen during?
effortless working on my work! knowing! path lighting up for me! work doing itself!

How do you want to feel after?
magickal! powerful! SO FUCKING RELIEVED I HAVE DEALT WITH MY DISTURBANCES

I am a powerful witch. I command the best day of my life!
I am a powerful witch! I command my best work to be produced today!
I am a powerful witch! I command focus and completion!

I've noticed I feel lazy and that's ok. I've noticed I worry about what other people think and that's ok. I've noticed I wish I would work out more and that's ok. I've noticed I want to get fucked up and that's ok! I've noticed I care about what other people think and that's ok!!

I intend to have the best day of my life. I intend to make my best work. I intend to go with the flow. I intend to float downstream. I intend to laugh and play! I intend to be light and carefree! I intend to practice eft! I intend to neutralize my energy disturbances! I intend be the best version of myself i can be! I intend to let life live me!

I pray to stay sober today. I pray this eft thing works out. I pray for flow and peace and ease. I pray life lives me. I pray to serve the greater good. I pray to work out this back pain. I pray to stand up to my thoughts. I pray to not be scared of pain! I Pray to Face My Pain!

I'm switching to the version of reality I Prefer. IN the reality I prefer,
I am healed. My issues are resolved. I am doing the work. I am making my best work. I am doing everything right.

In the reality I prefer,
I love myself.
I don't give a fuck.
I live the magick life!
I am a powerful witch!

In the reality I prefer, life is taking care of me.
I am brave! I am courageous!
I am in the flow!
I am at peace with what is!

I totally and completely love and accept myself!

I love it when I do the work. I love it when I remember who I am. I love it when I let life live me. I love it when I find new music to listen to! I love it when I make music! I love it when I make my best work. I love it when I feel energized. I love it when I resolve my fucking issues!

Dear Jessica,
You are resolved. You are perfect. Let the flow through you. You can't rip the skin off a snake. It's all happening in perfect time. You are a star! You are already who you want to be!

Jessica Mullen

Daily Meditation – The One Who Watches Is Already…


Download the meditation audio on Bandcamp!

Breathe in and raise your vibration!
Breathe out and release your resistance.

Breathe in and raise your vibration!
Breathe out and release your resistance.

Open your mind.

Breathe and open up to the flow of well being
Breathe out and enter the present moment, where all of your power lies

This is the right place and the right time. You’re doing everything right.

Breathe in and let yourself be filled with newness!
Breathe out and let go of your worries.

Let the flow through you! You don’t have to think about it. You don’t have to wonder. You can just notice and let go.

Breathe in and notice how you’re feeling
Breathe out and know that that feeling is just a thing that you can let go

Breathe in and imagine your feeling, wherever it is on your body
Breathe out and imagine letting that thing go

Breathe in and ask yourself, “What am I thinking right now”
Breathe out and remember your thoughts are just things you can let go

Breathe in and ask, “Who is watching these thoughts? Who is feeling these feelings?”
Breathe out and ask yourself, “Who is feeling the feeling?”

Breathe in and step into your power. Step into your full consciousness.
Breathe out and become totally conscious.

You are seated at the seat of your consciousness. You can rest here and watch your thoughts and feelings go by instead of being caught up, identified with those thoughts and feelings.

Breathe in and watch
Breathe out and notice: What are you feeling right now?

I’m feeling worried about what other people think. Who is feeling worried about what other people think? The infinite consciousness. The infinite source of your being is just perceiving worrying about what other people think. You can use that consciousness—that attention—to let go of that very feeling.

Breathe in and open up to receiving
Breathe out and let go of those thoughts and feelings as they come

Keep your attention in the present moment. When thoughts and feelings come, you don’t have to get lost in them. You don’t have to pay attention to every single one. You can just let them go by and watch, deeply seated in the root of your consciousness. Riding the flow, energized with universal energy. Attuned to synchronicity. In love with yourself and your life.

Breathe in and and be in love with yourself and your life
Breathe out and feel confident!

You are now the watcher. And the one who watches, is already free!

Jessica Mullen

The One Who Watches Is Already Free

Jessica Mullen
So happy and grateful to be awake and alive,
choosing my thoughts, choosing my feelings
Watching the thoughts and feelings go by
I'm reading The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer again, and he's reminding me to just watch...
"Who is feeling?" "Who is thinking?" Feelings are just an object you can release. Thoughts are just an object you can release. Let it pass. Release. Let go.

So happy and grateful to be creating,
even if I judge every creation and beat myself up for not making something more cohesive
better fuller more done more complete.

So happy and grateful to be learning how to love myself and
find new music and feel good about myself and be my reason for feeling good.

So happy and grateful you're making me want to be a better person, ha!

So happy and grateful to take responsibility for how I feel. I am taking responsibility for how I feel. I am my source of love. I am my source of flow. I am my source of peace.

My mind tries to trick me, look outside of you! That would make you feel better! That person would make you feel better! That habit would make you feel better!

So happy and grateful to be transcending the mind. So happy and grateful to feel good right now, by choice. Because I chose so.

So happy and grateful to be doing the work. So happy and grateful to have better habits. So happy and grateful to be learning how to not hate myself so much.

So happy and grateful to be loving myself. So happy and grateful it's getting easier to love myself. So happy and grateful it's getting easier to be the source of my love. So happy and grateful it's getting easier to be in the habit of writing every day.

So happy and grateful to have the best wife in the world. So happy and grateful she coaches. So happy and grateful she had us run. So happy and grateful to be feeling better.

So happy and grateful to feel in love. I love myself. -I- love myself. I love myself. Who loves myself? Who is doing the loving?

So happy and grateful my abs are getting stronger. So happy and grateful my neck is healed. So happy and grateful my body feels good. So happy and grateful to have new music to listen to. So happy and grateful to have friends in all the places. SO happy and grateful to choose freedom over pain.

The one who watches is already free.

Wouldn't it be nice to have the best day of my life? Wouldn't it be nice to be more transparent, to ask for what I want, to feel more confident and sure of myself? Wouldn't it be nice to focus on loving myself all day today? I love myself. I love myself. The one who watches is already free!

Wouldn't it be nice to record my best video yet? Wouldn't it be nice to make my best work? Wouldn't it be nice to feel more confident about my content? Wouldn't it be nice to have a better system? Wouldn't it be nice to let go of my pain? Wouldn't it be nice to just lighten up and have fun all day? Wouldn't it be nice to bask in the present moment? Wouldn't it be nice to let go of my worries?

I WANT

  • to remember to be the watcher
  • to remember to love myself
  • to be 100% DEVOTED to loving myself
  • to find a more comfortable desk chair!
  • to feel strong in my core!
  • to MAKE MY BEST WORK
  • to feel confident and organized and inspired and magickal about my creations
  • to laugh and play and have fun with my wife!
  • to watch the thoughts and feelings and release them as they come
  • to be in a good mood all day!

Prepave! recording this video
What's the best that could happen before?
IN LOVE WITH MYSELF
What’s the best that could happen during?
magickal, synchronicity, mind blown, channel of magick, channel of peace and love and clarity and KNOWING
How do you want to feel after?
so creative and inspired and in love with myself!

I am a powerful witch. I command singular focus on loving myself!
I am a powerful witch. I command myself to TRANSCEND THE MIND.

I've noticed I'm doubting myself and that's ok.
I've noticed I'm reaching for things outside of myself to feel good and that's ok.
I've noticed I'm addicted to caffeine and that's ok!
I've noticed I want to feel more confident and that's ok!

I've decided to feel good about my creations. They're working themselves out.
I've decided to feel good about how much I love myself. It's working itself out!
I've decided to feel good about who I am. It's working itself out!!

Today I intend to have the best day of my life. I intend to love myself unconditionally. I intend to have and be fun. I intend to love and be loved. I intend to be kind and compassionate. I intend to do the work. I intend to be the watcher. I intend to transcend thought. I intend to be my best version of myself. I intend to feel the best I've ever felt and I intend to make my best work!

I pray to stay sober today. I pray to let the flow through me. I pray to be the watcher! I pray to NOT GIVE A FUCK WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK!

I'm switching to the version of reality I prefer. In the reality I prefer, I am in the right place at the right time. I am doing everything right. I am focused on me and loving myself. I am the watcher. The watcher is already free!

In the reality I prefer,
I love myself.
I don't give a fuck.
I am a powerful witch.
I live the magick life!

I love it when I do the work! I love it when it all works out! I love it when I get what I want! I love it when I DO ME! I love it when I let go! I love it when I am the watcher!

Dear Jessica,
At your core you are the one who watches. Let the flow inside and let the magick out. It's all already inside of you.

Notice, notice, notice. And be free.

Jessica Mullen

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

Jessica Mullen
Life already is the way I want it to be. Life already is the way I want it to be. Life already is the way I want it to be. Life already is the way I want it to be. Life already is the way I want it to be. Life already is the way I want it to be. Life already is the way I want it to be.

So happy and grateful life already is the way I want it to be. So happy and grateful to feel confident and excited about my life. So happy and grateful to feel good about myself. What do I want?

So happy and grateful to be in perfect health. So happy and grateful I can choose what I focus on. So happy and gratefuL I can change my thoughts and change my life. So happy and grateful I can choose to stand up for myself. So happy and grateful I can let life live me. So happy and grateful I can let life take care of me. So happy and grateful I can let the flow through me and just run

So happy and grateful I can lighten up and choose flow. So happy and grateful I can choose to feel good and stop listening to misogynistic music.

So happy and grateful I like myself today. So happy and grateful to be conscious and in control of my vibration.

I am in control of my vibration. I am in control of my vibration. I am in control of my vibration. I am in control of my vibration. I am in control of my vibration.

So happy and grateful I can choose to stop blaming other people for my problems. So happy and grateful I can choose to take 100% responsibility. I am taking 100% responsibility. I am choosing to focus. I am choosing to focus.

My focus is so strong.
I am in control of my vibration.
Life already is the way I want it to be.

I am choosing to feel good now. I am choosing to lift myself up. I am choosing to address my vibration. I am willing to look in the mirror. I am willing to look in the mirror. I am willing to look in the mirror. I am willing to look in the mirror. I am willing to look in the mirror. I am willing to look in the mirror.

I am willing to fall in love. I am willing to fall in love. I am willing to fall in love.

I am in love. I am so in love. I am so in love. I am so in love. I am so in love. I am so in love.

I am so in love.
I am in control of my vibration.
My focus is so strong.
Life already is the way I want it to be.

Wouldn't it be nice to take care of myself and change my thoughts? Wouldn't it be nice to deal with my thoughts? Wouldn't it be nice to let my thoughts go? Wouldn't it be nice to stop searching outside of me for satisfaction and joy? Wouldn't it be nice to remember

I AM THE SOURCE OF THIS FEELING
I am the source of this feeling
I am the source of my love
I am the source of my hate

I am so in love.
I am in control of my vibration.
My focus is so strong.
Life already is the way I want it to be.

I am so in love. I am so in love. I am so in love. I am so in love. I am so in love. I am choosing to be the source.
I am the source of my love.
I am the source of my love.
I am the source of my love.
I am the source of my love.

I am choosing love. I am choosing Love. I am choosing love.

I am so in love.
I am in control of my vibration.
My focus is so strong.
Life already is the way I want it to be.

Wouldn't it be nice to lighten up and have fun! Wouldn't it be nice to not be so serious and dramatic! Wouldn't it be nice to have the best night of my life? Wouldn't it be nice to feel IN LOVE?

Wouldn't it be nice to just have fun and enjoy the present moment?!

I want
to let go
to practice
to let it be easy
to have a good attitude
to do me
to paint the picture I want to live

I want to let go of my old stale desires
I want to let go
I want to feel creative and amazing
I want unblocking
I want IT ALL
I want to GET BACK TO MY WAYS

Prepave! This night!
What's the best that could happen before?
Good mood! CHANGE MY THOUGHTS CHANGE MY LIFE

What’s the best that could happen during?
STRONG FOCUS STRONG FOCUS CHOOSING CHOOSING CHOOSING LOVE

How do you want to feel after?
LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE

I am a powerful witch.
I command
LOVE

I've noticed I'm searching outside of myself and that's ok. I've noticed I feel crabby and disappointed in myself and that's ok. I've noticed I want to feel HIGH and FUCKED UP and that's ok!!!!!

I've noticed I want to go WILD and THAT's OK.

I've decided to feel good about my life. It's working itself out. I've decided to feel good about what I make. It's working itself out. I've decided to feel good about my life. It's working itself out!

I've decided to feel good about how I feel. It's working itself out!!!

I intend to have the best night of my life.
I intend to love myself.
I intend to be in love.
I intend to be in love.
I intend to be in love.
I intend to DO ME.
I intend to BE MY REASON FOR FEELING GOOD.
I INTEND TO HAVE A STRONG FOCUS!

I pray to stay sober today because I REALLY WANT A DRINK.

I pray for love.

I'm switching to the version of reality I prefer. In the reality I prefer,
I love myself.
I don't give a fuck.
I live the magick life.
I am a powerful witch!
I am brave.
Life already is the way I want it to be.
I Am Doing Me!

I love it when I write and feel better. I love it when I direct my thoughts. I love it when I remember a belief is just A THOUGHT YOU THINK A LOT.

I am devoted to my strong focus.

I love myself.

Dear Jessica,
Change your thoughts, change your life!

Jessica Mullen

Daily Meditation – You’re About To Get Exactly What…


Download the meditation audio on Bandcamp!

Breathe in and raise your vibration!
Breathe out and release your resistance!

Breathe in and raise your vibration!
Breathe out and release your resistance!

Let the flow through you. The answers are already inside of you.

Breathe in and open up to receiving
Breathe out and relax your body

This is the right time and the right place. You’re doing everything right. You are so loved.

Breathe in and open up your heart
Breathe out and let go of your worries

Let go of the things that make you close your heart.

Breathe in and open up—open up your heart
Breathe out and step outside of your mind into the present moment where all of your power lies

Breathe in and say “I love myself”
Breathe out and say “I love myself”

This is the best day of your life. Everything you ever wanted is coming to you. Allow yourself to be a cooperative component. Let yourself say yes!

Breathe in and start feeling enthusiastic about what’s to come!
Breathe out and celebrate because you’re getting what you wanted!

Breathe in and feel relaxed
Breathe out and feel optimistic

Feel like you’re going to get what you want tonight!

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

Step into your confident self. Step into the you that’s connected to spirit. When you’re connected to spirit, you can do no wrong. You can do wrong anyway, you are perfect the way you are. Everything is perfect the way it is.

Breathe in and lighten up! Life is just for fun!
Breathe out and smile because life is not serious!

You are allowed to want whatever you want today. You are allowed to feel however you want. How do you want to feel? Well, first of all, what do you want? How would getting it make you feel?

Breathe in and let what you want come to you
Breathe out and remember to be open today.

Be open to receiving. Be open to saying yes. Open your heart. Let life live you!

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

The enthusiasm and the energy and the relief you’ve been wanting are now yours. You can go forth into your day, knowing you’re about to get exactly what you wanted!

Jessica Mullen

I AM FUCKING OPEN

Jessica Mullen
So happy and grateful
to feel better
to be feeling better by the minute
I am feeling better by the minute
So happy and grateful it's October!
My favorite time!
So happy and grateful to be learning to be totally conscious.

So happy and grateful to have friends who love me and take care of me. So happy and grateful to have a wife who loves me and takes care of me. So happy and grateful to have a family who loves me and takes care of me. So happy and grateful to love myself and take care of myself.

So happy and grateful to feel better. So happy and grateful to feel better. So happy and grateful to feel better. So happy and grateful to feel better. So happy and grateful to feel better. So happy and grateful to feel better!

So happy and grateful to feel relieved. So happy and grateful to feel energized. So happy and grateful to feel better! So happy and grateful to love myself and not give a fuck! So happy and grateful to feel excited about life. So happy and grateful to be a powerful witch. So happy and grateful to live the magick life. So happy and grateful to know what I want!

Wouldn't it be nice to lighten up. Wouldn't it be nice to have some new ideas??? Wouldn't it be nice to be light and fun! Wouldn't it be nice to remember to be present? Wouldn't it be nice to make my best work? Wouldn't it be nice to feel better?! Wouldn't it be nice to feel like I'm acting with integrity? Wouldn't it be nice to follow my heart? Wouldn't it be nice to feel the best I've ever felt?

Wouldn't it be nice to play and laugh and have fun? Wouldn't it be nice to let go of my thoughts?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Wouldn't it be nice to feel good about myself today? Wouldn't it be nice to celebrate all I am instead of mourning all I'm not?!

Wouldn't it be nice to let life live me? Wouldn't it be nice to to feel good about my life? Wouldn't it be nice to feel like I'm doing the right thing? Wouldn't it be nice to be my reason for feeling good?

Wouldn't it be nice to love my life today? Wouldn't it be nice to not get so fucking depressed without caffeine? Wouldn't it be nice to feel free? Wouldn't it be nice to have good dreams? Wouldn't it be nice to feel light and playful and fun? Wouldn't it be nice to feel relief? Wouldn't it be nice to feel happy?!

Wouldn't it be nice to trust the process of life? Wouldn't it be nice to not care so much? Wouldn't it be nice to record my best meditation video yet?!?!?!

I WANT

  • to feel better
  • to make my best work!!
  • to CREATE
  • to MAKE
  • to feel the best I've ever felt! on my fucking own! without a single fucking drug!!!
  • to let go of this sadness
  • to stop feeling like someone else is controlling me and control my fucking self
  • to let go of control
  • for life to be fun and deep and i want to be fucking brAVE!
  • to feel better. to feel better. to feel better. because i choose it. i decide it.

Prepave! PARDI!
What's the best that could happen before?
I feel better. I feel better on my own. I feel better on my own. I feel better on my own. I let go. I let go. I let go. I let go. I let go. I let go. I help myself. I feel better. I feel better. I help myself. I do the work. I focus. I feel better. I do it myself. I let go.

What’s the best that could happen during?
Fun! Play! Toys! I feel better! I feel relieved! I am inspired! I am connected! I am OPEN! I AM FUCKING OPEN!

How do you want to feel after?
relieved. happy. successful. open. better. free. in love with myself!

I am a powerful witch. I command myself to have the best day of my life!
I am a powerful witch. I command myself to LET THE FUCK GO!
I am a powerful witch. I command myself to be AT PEACE WITH WHAT IS!

IT WON'T ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS!!!!!!

I've noticed I'm sad and that's ok. I've noticed I'm blaming my external reality for my problems and feelings and that's ok.

I've noticed I feel trapped and not free and that's ok. I've noticed I feel unmotivated and pissed at myself and that's ok. I've noticed I want to feel good about myself and that's ok. I've noticed I want to feel better and that's ok!!!!!

I've decided to feel good about myself. I'm working myself out.
I've decided to feel good about where I am in life. It's working itself out!!

Today I intend to have a good attitude. I intend to be kind and compassionate. I intend to be totally conscious. I intend to love myself. I intend to fall in love with myself. I intend to bask in this seasoN! I intend to enjoy my time. I intend to love my life the way it is. I intend to go within to find my solutions. I intend to wild out!

I intend to let go of my thoughts. I intend to feel confident. I intend to love myself! I intend to let what I want come to me.

I AM LETTING WHAT I WANT COME TO ME.

I pray to stay sober today.
I pray to ask for what I want.
I pray to be confident and vocal about what I want.
I pray to love myself
and my life the way it is.

I'm switching to the version of reality I prefer. In the reality I prefer,
I love myself.
I don't give a fuck.
I live the magick life.
I am a powerful witch!

In the reality I prefer,
life is working out for me. I am free. I can be or do or have anything I want! I am letting life live me. I am free. I am at peace with what is. I am totally conscious.

I love it when I write. I love it when I feel better. I love it when I feel the flow. I love it when I ask for what I fucking want. I love it when I do the work. I love it when I feel confident and happy to be me! I love it when I stand up for myself. I love it when I feel strong and brave! I love it when I SHINE.

Dear Jessica,
It's all working out for you. Relax and let it be easy. It can be easy. You've already asked. Let go of your thoughts. Let it come to you!

Jessica Mullen

my favorite perspective is both

Jessica Mullen
let it out it burns i have to let it out
i can transcend
i can transcend i can let it go
i can transmute the energy into power
i have the power to do whatever i want
finally i see
i see
i am awake
it is working
i asked for this
it won't always be like this
have patience
i always wanted to meet someone with more patience than me
just kidding a lot of people do
or do they
my favorite perspective is both

i am a teenager still in english class scribbling in a little notebook i got from the grocery store

i feel so much and i know there's a way to get it out but i'm not sure where to begin
i'm not sure
and so i switch my perspective to a clear strong signal
right now
i choose a clear strong signal
i choose a clear strong signal
i let go of those thoughts about other people

i release my attachment to outcome.
i release my investment i release it all
i choose to be here now, where it's not always going to be like this

it's not always going to be like this.
it won't always be like this.
it's not always going to be this way.

sorry i'm guarded
sorry i closed

trying to remember to be open

sorry to judge myself
i love myself

sorry i closed
i am remembering to be open

sorry i'm cold
it keeps me awake

gotta laugh at myself on this one
just on time
the
fall
rush

i am just letting the flow through me
my new goal is to not be so pretentious!

====

i know exactly what i'm doing
i know i'm in the right place at the right time
i know i'm doing everything right
i stopped watching the weather

i trust the process of life i am done second guessing what i do what i say
i am at peace with what is i am choosing to focus my attention!

i am choosing to publish this stream of consciousness writing for anyone to read and why?
for the built in second perspective

i'm on fire i'm on fire
i'm burning
it's october
right on time

i am waking up
opening
back up

sorry i closed

i am open
i am open
i am open
it's not always going to be like this
everything is perfect and in its place.

back to reality
the second perspective can really put a stop to things too
why write in public
why
write
in
pubic

because it holds me to a higher standard
it opens me up
humbles me
if i didn't do this
i wouldn't be in the habit of writing

it's easy to write because i write
i love to write

i guess the reason to have those structured posts is because i run out of things to say!

so high.

ok anyway.

this is

i am letting the flow through me
i am exactly where i need to be
i am open to the flow flowing through me
i can channel
i am a channel
i am a bridge
i am a channel
i am one with life
i am one with life

i am choosing what to focus on i am choosing to feel good and be present
i am choosing a new life right now
in this moment i choose a new life
i am clean new fresh again
right here right now

right now i am choosing to be light and open up i am choosing to lighten up
i am choosing to relax and be here now

get your mind

go get your mind she's drunk

i am choosing to transmute the energy
i allow the energy to rise
flow up and out
connecting me to the great big ghost in the sky

i am once again connected
i am once again in the flow
i am now in the flow

scattered
but it doesn't have to be that way
it won't always be this way!
listen to my playlist

it hurts to be open sometimes
like stretching open a piercing
gauging out your ears
open up!
open up!
it won't always be like this.
open up!

open up and it's halloween and this is the time!
it is time to go out and feel adventure on the skin and it's dark in the trees and you might fall in some mud but it will be so funny

life can get deeper without alcohol
life is deeper without alcohol
life is deeper without alcohol
life is deeper without alcohol

life is deeper without alcohol
life is deeper without alcohol

there's a dark part!
it's a big part!
and there's the light part.
i have both.
i see both.
always wanting to catch a plane
knowing i'll feel the same!

let's have fun is all i say
lighten up and

edit away!

Jessica Mullen

604 Days Sober

Jessica Mullen
When I was first toying with the idea of sobriety, I searched everywhere for other people like me who were already sober. Sober mentors, if you will. Molly Soda is who really inspired me to go through with it.

It was challenging to find girls like me who were sober. Transitioning from a partying lifestyle to an alcohol-free one was daunting and there weren't a lot of examples to follow.

So I am writing this to be an example if anyone is looking. I've been sober for over a year and a half. I don't think about it that much anymore. I now have way more sober memories than drunk ones. It seems strange to me how much of my 20s and early 30s are just gone in blackouts. I had so much fun, but I don't remember a lot of it. Did I just think I had fun? Who knows? I wasn't there.

Writing this kind of wakes up the urge though. I still occasionally dream about drinking, but now it's just a detail rather than the dream topic. I'm not all, "Omg I'm so bad I'm drinking this vodka," I just remember there were alcoholic drinks on the table...

I am happy to report that I have totally rewired my coping mechanisms to function without alcohol. When I don't have alcohol to numb my mind, I turn to other things like weed and tv and food, and I had a 6 month fling with kratom. I loved the kratom, but started to get too into it. It's a phase, not a lifestyle.

Even though I still find myself numbing with other things, I sure as fuck remember it all. I remember everything. Actually, my memory isn't WAY better than it was when I was drinking... but that's probably the pot.

I haven't had a hard drug since quitting either, which is a pretty cool triumph. Not a single fun pill. I really have no desire either. Drinking constantly made me pretty exhausted, so it was no wonder I was always searching for uppers. Or painkillers for hangovers. No more!

Once in a while I catch myself noticing all the things I do that wouldn't have been possible with a hangover. Keeping up with the laundry. Taking out the trash. Basic chores just seem to do themselves. I always have the energy to get out of bed and take care of a few things. Aside from maybe one day in the winter, I don't think I've stayed in bed all day once in the past 1.6 years.

For the first year, I definitely felt FOMO about bars and drinking-centric events. I mostly felt sad that I wasn't fun anymore. I wasn't the wild one getting everyone to do shots and go cray. That was my JAM to be that person. Now I sit pretty quietly, sipping my diet coke, ready to leave when you are!

Sometimes though, I go to a party or a dinner and I have such a wonderful time, and I'm dead fucking sober. And it's so fun, because of the company, or because we're playing with flow toys, or there's just a genuine connection between me and the experience. I have fun, child-like, without alcohol. It is possible!

It is now way easier to NOT drink than it would be to start up again. Just today Kelly was telling me about an Osho passage, where a monk tries helping a thief. The monk tells the thief, "You can still steal, just be totally conscious when you do it." So the thief tries, but finds he can't--because he no longer has the unconscious forces driving him.

Alcohol is similar for me. If someone told me, "You can still drink, just be totally conscious when you do it," I wouldn't want to drink. I want to drink to BE UNCONSCIOUS. And that's not really my life plan anymore. I'm aiming for total consciousness. Life is just more fun. And more deep.

I do really miss the wild nights and chance happenings. The openness that happens when you hang out with people who party. The saying yes, going with the flow, the laughter. I miss being the underbelly of society really.

But I don't miss the drama. I don't miss the hangovers. I don't miss the fights, the weight gain, the canceled plans. I don't miss the barfing. At all.

Sometimes I really do want to throw it away and be "tortured" again. I want to have depth and demons and a substance that chases them away. But I've been there, and that existence was hollow and hard.

My biggest lesson is that drinking didn't solve my problems or change my habits. I still get up late. I still stay up late. I still wish I exercised more. Quitting drinking didn't make me suddenly a healthy well adjusted person. But it did allow me to make some new habits like working out at home, and brushing my teeth before bed.

I used to worry a lot about being uptight, or not fun anymore. But I think I'm slowly loosening up, on my own. The more I focus on opening and loosening and relaxing sober, the more I'm able to do it. I just never learned. Alcohol did a lot of things for me my entire adult life, so I never learned how to relax on my own or deal with anxiety.

The time I most want to drink is on road trips. Car travel is something that really stresses me out and I'm working on it! I just have to remember "I am the origin of the wave". What happens is the wave, and I can't stop it. But I can change the tune of the original signal. I can change what I'm projecting into the world, and then my experiences reflect it.

Instead of just protecting myself from my own sloppy thoughts with a bottle of vodka, I am learning to create a world I don't have to protect myself from. I am learning to be open, and to let go, and to love myself, and to be totally conscious.

Love What You're Doing Right Now

Daily Meditation – Love What You’re Doing Right Now


Download the meditation audio on Bandcamp!

Breathe in and raise your vibration!
Breathe out and release your resistance!

Breathe in and raise your vibration!
Breathe out and release your resistance!

Relax your body. Step into this present moment, where all of your power lies!

Breathe in and decide to love what you’re doing right now
Breathe out and relax because that’s the formula: as long as you love what you’re doing right now, you’ll always love your life.

Breathe in and say “I love myself!”
Breathe out and say “I love myself!”

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

Let this be your mantra today. Today, decide to think, “I love myself” and nothing else. What’s the best that could happen?

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

Even if you don’t believe it, even if it’s hard, even if it’s annoying at first—it’s going to be—keep practicing. Make it your goal for “I love myself” to be your solitary thought today.

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

The more you do this—the more you think “I love myself”—the more you’re training your brain to look for reasons to love yourself. The more evidence you’re going to find, reasons why you should love yourself, reasons why you do love yourself. You can choose right now, to live in a world that you love!

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

How much of your pain comes from thinking, “I hate myself” or “I’m so lame!” or judging yourself or criticizing yourself? Replace all of those thoughts with “I love myself”. Every time you make a mistake, “I love myself”. Every time you doubt yourself, “I love myself”. Get creative in how you think about it. Who is loving you? Is it your higher self? Is it god? Is it the universe? Is it your awareness, your deep-seated consciousness? Who is it that’s loving you??

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

It’s the creator, loving you. It’s YOU. It’s all that is, loving you. The more that you say it, the more you know it’s true.

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

Let yourself think this on repeat all day today. Really try to have a singular focus on this one thought. Just do it for one day.

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

Before you know it, people will be expressing their love for you. You just won’t need it anymore, because you’re already giving yourself what you want from other people.

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

Try it for just one day and see how fun and delicious life can be!

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love myself

Jessica Mullen

THAT’S IT!

Jessica Mullen
So happy and grateful to be awake and alive! So happy and grateful to be here now. So happy and grateful I can choose to focus on loving myself and THAT'S IT! I really want to figure out how to better incorporate self love into this daily writing practice.

How can I use this writing to practice self love?
You already do

I have my format of daily spells but is it really that self lovey?

Yeah let's go with it. My mind is just resisting.

So happy and grateful to be in love with myself.
So happy and grateful to get to do aerial fitness.
So happy and grateful to have the perfect place to live.
So happy and grateful to always have plenty!
SO happy and grateful to love myself the way I am!
SO happy and grateful to have family who loves me!
SO happy and grateful I can focus on loving myself and that's enough.
So happy and grateful to feel like I'm enough.
SO happy and grateful to be in control of my vibration.
SO happy and grateful to feel connected and in the flow.
So happy and grateful to feel the flow.
So happy and grateful to feel excited about my life!
SO happy and grateful to be connected to spirit.
So happy and grateful to be getting better at being present.
SO happy and grateful to have inspiring music to listen to all day every day.

So happy and grateful to feel excited about this day. SO happy and grateful to be celebrating. SO happy and grateful to be focused on loving myself. So happy and grateful to have new opportunities every day. SO happy and grateful to relax and enter the present moment. SO happy and grateful to be making my best work. SO happy and grateful to be in love with myself.

Wouldn't it be nice to have the best day of my life?
Wouldn't it be nice to feel the best I've ever felt?
Wouldn't it be nice to take my swing outside?
Wouldn't it be nice to have trees we can slack and swing on?
Wouldn't it be nice to feel free and light and fun?!

I WANT

  • to focus on loving myself 100% all day today! I LOVE MYSELF.
  • to record my best video yet
  • to find some new songs to listen to
  • to feel energized and want to work on work
  • to work on the school
  • to have fun and laugh with keke all day
  • I love myself I love myself I love myself I love myself
  • I love myself I love myself I love myself I love myself
  • I love myself I love myself I love myself i love myself
  • to keep my mind and thoughts off this world
  • I want to get better at feeling the feeling when I think "I love myself". I want to have a way to think about that makes the feeling of unconditional love easier to access. A creative way to imagine.

Prepave! Wally world
What's the best that could happen before?
Feel fun!
What’s the best that could happen during?
I remember to love myself!
How do you want to feel after?
In love with myself!

I am a powerful witch. I command SELF LOVE!
I am a powerful witch. I command MONEY TO FLY AT ME!
I am a powerful witch. I command SINGULAR FOCUS!
I am a powerful witch. I command MY BEST WORK!

I've noticed I want to feel better and that's ok. I've noticed I feel anxious and that's ok! I've noticed I want to love myself more/better and that's ok.

I've noticed I want to let go of irritation and annoyance and that's ok! I've noticed I just want to feel love and that's ok!

I love myself. I Love myself. I love myself. I love myself.

I mean I love silent counting but I the thing I WANT the most is to love myself! SIlent counting works great to get out of a bad mood. But I'm in a decent mood. And I just want the feeling/high of loving myself!

I've decided to feel good about how much/how well I love myself. It's working itself out. I've decided to feel good about my self love practice. It's working itself out. I've decided to feel good about being irritated. It's working itself out. I've decided to feel good about this day. It's working itself out! I've decided to feel good about myself. I'm working myself out!

I wish I would run more tho lol.

Jessica, Even though you don't run very much, I love and accept you exactly the way you are.
Even though you're not perfect, I love and accept you exactly the way you are.

Today I intend to love myself. I intend to have a good day. I intend to love others. I intend to be kind and compassionate. I intend to be fun! I intend to have a singular focus on LOVING MYSELF.

I pray to stay sober today. I pray to let go of addictive thought. I pray to love myself unconditionally!

I'm switching to the version of reality I prefer. In the reality I prefer, I love myself. I don't give a fuck! I live the magick life! I am a powerful witch!

I love myself!
I don't give a fuck!
I live the magick life!
I am a powerful witch!

Obviously!

In the reality I prefer, everything is working itself out. I am doing my best. I am doing everything right. Im in the right place at the right time.

I am letting go of my worries. I never have to wonder. I am at peace with what is. I love myself!

I love it when I do the work. I love it when I find new music I love. I love it when I practice loving myself and it works! I love it when I love myself! I love it when I crack the fucking code!

Dear Jessica,
You are the code.
This is the code.
The code is the code.
You are loved infinitely, unconditionally.
You have access to it eternally.
Your attempts to love yourself are noticed.
You are getting better!
You wanted this, to practice. To know the joy of going from hate to love.
You are doing a great job!
Relax and enjoy it! You don't have to think another thought!
You love yourself!