Egoic Pursuit of Egolessness

 2014 November 20
by jessica mullen   Leave a comment 

Cam
Grateful to be awake and alive. Grateful for this now. Grateful to not have anything on my “to not give a fuck about” list yet. Grateful for pop music. Grateful we’ve been working on our project! Grateful to wake up feeling good. Grateful for my wife. Grateful for vivid dreams. Grateful for my grandparents. Grateful for my family and friends. Grateful for my health. Grateful for my home. Grateful for Austin. Grateful for my kitties. Grateful for my gym membership. Grateful for money in the bank. Grateful for coconut oil and coffee and spinach smoothies. Grateful for clean sheets. Grateful for cute blankets. Grateful for rituals. Grateful for my strength. Grateful to be here now. Grateful to be reading about Buddhism. Grateful for new ideas. Grateful for uc. Grateful for new ideas. Grateful to let go. Grateful I can surrender. Grateful for my office. Grateful I don’t have to give a fuck. Grateful for my computer and phone and microphone and internet. Grateful for my education. Grateful for my writing practice. Grateful to feel good now. Grateful for the warm front. Grateful to feel good about life. Grateful I don’t have to give a fuck. Grateful I can let go and let it be easy. Grateful for fun plans. Grateful I can choose to be at peace with what is. Grateful for Thich Nhat Hanh and Wayne Dyer and Abraham Hicks. Grateful for Alan Watts. Grateful for teachers. Grateful for people who watch my videos. Grateful to like myself. Grateful to feel practiced. Grateful for the library. Grateful life already is the way I want it to be.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have the best day of my life? Wouldn’t it be nice to redraw that daily page? Wouldn’t it be nice to surrender? Wouldn’t it be nice to breathe consciously and not give a fuck? Wouldn’t it be nice to just be here now? Wouldn’t it be nice to hoop? Wouldn’t it be nice to work on our project for several hours? Wouldn’t it be nice to meet the flow machine half way? Wouldn’t it be nice to be my reason for feeling good? Wouldn’t it be nice to jump on a big trampoline? Wouldn’t it be nice to walk on a tightrope? Wouldn’t it be nice to fly? Wouldn’t it be nice to clean? Wouldn’t it be nice to get rid of some stuff? Wouldn’t it be nice to order that glass? Wouldn’t it be nice to get another bottle of highest potential? Wouldn’t it be nice to make some videos? Wouldn’t it be nice to catch up on TPP and JS posts? Wouldn’t it be nice to feel “in demand”? Wouldn’t it be nice to be asked to make things? Wouldn’t it be nice to be asked to write for a site or magazine? Wouldn’t it be nice to feel popular? Wouldn’t it be nice to trust the process? WOuldn’t it be nice to be ok with living in obscurity? Wouldn’t it be nice to feel oneness? Wouldn’t it be nice to MAKE ART LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER?

What do you want?
TO MAKE MY ART
TO EXPERIENCE RADICAL NONSEPARATION
To feel agile and light and physically euphoric, ecstatic in/with my body
To be here now
To practice my only craft, presence

I am switching to the version of reality I prefer. In the reality I prefer, I don’t give a fuck. In the reality I prefer, I already am the best. I already feel confident. I am generous and kind but have STANDARDS and take care of myself and am able to say no. I don’t give a fuck! I do what I want. I listen to my inner guidance, I do things for me. I am my reason for feeling good. I already am the person I want to be. I already have what I want. I already am in the right place at the right time. I am doing everything right. Life is living me. My PATH IS LIGHTING UP BEFORE ME! I am sober and alert and aware and awake and present and here now. I am awake in the dream. I am allowing well being to flow. I am one with life. I am taking care of myself. I am in control of my vibration. I am doing ME. I am letting life be easy. I am making my best work, right now. I am writing my best work, right now. I am letting life take care of me. I am suckling at the teat of the great mother. I am a guest in this world. I am letting go. I SURRENDER. I am letting go of everything that isn’t right now.

I love it when I do the work. I love it when I feel aligned. I love it when I smell like sacred frankincense. I love it when I feel good about myself. I love it when I breathe consciously. I love it when I get to have fun playing video games. I love it when I take care of myself. I love it when I have fun. I love it when I am fun. I love it when I let go of my thoughts and return to who I really am. I love it when I let life be fun and easy. I love it when I lighten up. I love it when I’m quoted. I love it when I feel important. I love it when I feel smart. I love it when I let go of my ego. I love it when acknowledge my selfish emotions without judgement. I love it when I find new music to love. I love it when I read books. I love it when I stay off my phone.

Today I intend to have the best day of my life. I intend to focus. I intend to let it come to me. I intend to be happy with what I have. I intend to let life live me. I intend to celebrate. I intend to express my gratitude. I intend to stay conscious. I intend to breathe consciously. I intend to eat consciously. I intend to live by natural law. I intend to trust the process. I intend to go with the flow. I intend to open my mind and open up to receiving. I intend to accept gifts and take no action. I intend to suckle at the teat of the great mother. I intend to thank god for everything. I intend to create and love and care for others. I intend to serve. I intend to give. I intend to project love. I intend to laugh and play and have fun and feel euphoric!

I intend to be a magnet of well being and abundance. I intend to appreciate all that I have, right now, right here. I intend to feel FREE! I intend to trip without drugs. I intend to LOVE MY LIFE!

Dear Jessica,
Relax and let it come. You’ve practiced the feeling, allow it to be yours. You’ve decided to feel good about that, it’s working itself out!

Daily Meditation – Enjoy Your Trip

 2014 November 19
by jessica mullen   Leave a comment 


Download the meditation audio on Bandcamp!

Breathe in and raise your vibration!
Breathe out and release your resistance

Breathe in and raise your vibration!
Breathe out and release your resistance

Relax. Let your judgements go. You are in the right place at the right time.

Breathe in and smile!
Breathe out and be here now

Go back to your breath. When you place your attention on your breath, you can be content regardless of your circumstance.

Breathe in and know you’re breathing in
Breathe out and know you’re breathing out

If you allow yourself to stop thinking and focus on your breath, you can let go of all of those uneasy emotions, all of those doubts and fears and worries. You can let them go right now.

Breathe in and know you’re breathing in.
Breathe out and know you’re breathing out.

Relax and let the flow take care of it. You’re a guest in this world. You might think that you have to take action to achieve what you want to achieve, but if you surrender and let go, life will work it out better than you could ever imagine.

Breathe in and decide to let go
Breathe out and surrender

Your only job is to enjoy this moment right now. Your only craft is your presence. There is nothing that you have to worry about and there is no worry that will help you. You can let your thoughts go now. They’re not helping you.

Breathe in and know you don’t have to figure it out
Breathe out and connect to source

Your connection to source is what helps you. Relax, lighten up. You don’t have to care. You don’t have to care about what other people think. They’re just reflections of you.

Breathe in and lift yourself up.
Breathe out and celebrate this day.

You’re still alive. You’ve made it to another day. You can let your thoughts and worries, and your plans and lists go. Right now you can step into beginner’s mind. You can step into the present moment, where everything is fun and there’s nothing to worry about. With beginner’s mind, you’re not thinking about what you’re experiencing, you just experience, as if for the first time.

Breathe in and experience your world as if for the first time
Breathe out and remember who you are.

You are a divine magickal being who is here to enjoy the trip. You’re here for fun, you’re here for love, you’re here for joy. You can just relax and breathe and trust that it’s going to work out without you ever getting involved. Your desires created. Now you can open up to receiving, by surrendering your desires, by letting go, and feeling as good RIGHT NOW, as if you had that thing you wanted. You can celebrate right now, receiving what you wanted. It’s already on the way. There’s nothing you can do, no action you can take, to make things turn out the way you want them to. You can just relax and surrender and let life do all the heavy lifting. It’s not your job to control the circumstances of your life or your self. Your only job is to surrender and enjoy right here, right now.

All You Can Do Is Enjoy Right Now

 2014 November 19
by jessica mullen   Leave a comment 

Cam-1

Grateful to be awake and alive! Grateful to be here now. Grateful for my health. Grateful for my home and for my friends. Grateful for my wife. Grateful to feel good now. Grateful life is long. Grateful or laughter. Grateful to feel the best I’ve ever felt! Grateful to be on some new shit. Grateful I am already perfect. Grateful to feel loved and cared for. Grateful to be at peace with what is. Grateful I can choose the other side of the wave. Grateful I don’t have to worry. Grateful for the flow. Grateful for the library. Grateful for the warmer weather. Grateful for my kitties. Grateful I can breathe easily. Grateful for the contrast that helps create. Grateful for a good night’s sleep. Grateful for my mentors. Grateful I can celebrate others’ successes. Grateful I can rejoice in others’ joy. Grateful I can let life be fun and easy. Grateful for coffee. Grateful I can choose focus. Grateful I can choose to lift my mood. Grateful for coconut oil. Grateful for the floor holding me up. Grateful for electricity. Grateful for my computer and wacom and hard drive and folders full of ideas. Grateful for Moleskines and for my little altar and tarot cards. Grateful for inspiration. Grateful for new images. Grateful to be an imagemaker. Grateful to be a designer. Grateful to be present. Grateful for herbal remedies. Grateful for new songs. Grateful for good music. Grateful for our plants. Grateful for buddhism. Grateful to be doing the work. Grateful it always works. Grateful for Ryan and Fede and Jenny and Tracy. Grateful for memes. Grateful for our SoLD worksheets. Grateful I can let life be fun and easy. Grateful I don’t have to care. Grateful I can live in obscurity. Grateful I can trust the flow. Grateful to be one with life. Grateful to feel strong in my body. Grateful life loves me. Grateful to feel better and better as the day goes on. Grateful life already is the way i want it to be.

Wouldn’t it be nice to write an amazing new article or story? Wouldn’t it be nice to work on the planner more tonight? Wouldn’t it be nice to be here now and relax about all the things I want to do? Wouldn’t it be nice to find new music? Wouldn’t it be nice to make my best work? Wouldn’t it be nice to feel like I already am? Wouldn’t it be nice to feel secure? Wouldn’t it be nice to trust the flow? Wouldn’t it be nice to let go? Wouldn’t it be nice to be egoless? Wouldn’t it be nice to go on a spiritual adventure? Wouldn’t it be nice to go on a meditation retreat? Wouldn’t it be nice to let go? Wouldn’t it be nice to be wild and free? Wouldn’t it be nice to not care? Wouldn’t it be nice to write music? Wouldn’t it be nice to make some beautiful images? Wouldn’t it be nice to not give a fuck? Wouldn’t it be nice to be nice to myself? Wouldn’t it be nice to get a massage? Wouldn’t it be nice if my foot was all better? Wouldn’t it be nice to feel excited about the future? Wouldn’t it be nice to have a new muse? Wouldn’t it be nice to LET IT OUT? Wouldn’t it be nice to open to receiving? Wouldn’t it be nice to just be here now and relax?

I am switching to the version of reality I prefer. In the reality I prefer, life already is the way I want it to be. I am in the right place at the right time. I am doing everything right. I am perfect the way I am. Life is on my side. I don’t have to give a fuck. I can trust the flow. I am in the flow. I am connected to my source. I am listening to the music of life. I am connected to the flow. I am one with life. I am a star child. I am letting life be easy. I am releasing my desires and feeling the way I would feel if I received them, right now. I FEEL INSPIRED AND ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT MY WORK. MY ART GETS ME OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING.

What do you want?
Duh, for my art to get me out of bed in the morning, and keep me up late at night. To be my reason for feeling good. To feel creatively fulfilled. To CREATE MY BEST WORK, all day every day constantly, all I want to do is MAKE ART, well want to make art. To not care about drinking or sleeping or eating or other people because I HAVE TO MAKE MY ART.

I love it when I do the work. I love it when I feel good about myself. I love it when life feels fun and exciting. I love it when I allow myself to see the other side of the wave. I love it when I let go. I love it when I surrender. I love it when I am my meditating self. I love it when i feel happy for myself. I love it when I feel good about myself. I love it when I let life be fun. I love it when I let life be fun. I love it when I trust the process. I love it when I realize I already have what I want.

Dear Jessica,
You are in the right place at the right time. You don’t need recognition, or praise, or success, or compliments to feel whole. You can recognize yourself: you are divine. You are god in human form. You’ve come so far. You are YOU. You can praise yourself: you are beautiful, you are creative, you are positive, you are calming, nurturing, loving, kind, knowing. You can see the success you have right now: you are breathing. You are here, right now. You are in paradise, heaven, right now. YOU ONLY HAVE RIGHT NOW. The only success you can achieve is enjoying this moment RIGHT NOW. So enjoy it, it’s all for you! You are perfect and in the right place at the right time! Let it be easy. Let yourself enjoy.