40 Day Prosperity Plan Day 15: Money is not my supply. No person, place or condition is my supply. My awareness, understanding, and knowledge of the all-providing activity of the Divine Mind within me is my supply. My consciousness of this Truth is unlimited, therefore, my supply is unlimited.
I really want to put my phone down for good. I can't stand the sick feeling I get, pressing the home button every few minutes to check the time. There are a few things I truly enjoy doing with my phone: taking photos, taking notes, using my meditation timer, using MyFitnessPal, using the PayPal app to get free food and drinks, playing Candy Crush once in a while. But the Facebook, Twitter, Insta and email checking have got to GO! How can I separate the good from the bad and have the discipline to keep it that way?
Anyway, onto the prosperity plan. We sat for 15 minutes, earlier than usual, so I get to write these notes before we leave for class at the gym. I attempted to "feel my inner body" (one of Tolle's concepts) the whole time. I had a neat vision of feeling energy pouring from the inside of my skin, shooting inward in a hyperspace starscape, my body filling with points of light from the outside in.
I asked what I needed to know, and the answer was, "nothing". This practice of bringing my attention away from my mind into my body is thrilling but frustrating--it's always frustrating when my mind doesn't want to let go of my attention and I can't tell I'm mind identified so I think it's hard.
I've noticed when I feel my inner body (my consciousness of Truth), my vision snaps to a single point and I feel very still. When I'm thinking, my eyes dart all over the place.
The act of centering my attention into my body feels sustainable because it's not a thought. In the past, all of my "being in the Now" techniques have been thought based: silent counting, thinking "Breathe in and raise your vibration, Breathe out and release your resistance," thinking in mantras or affirmations. Physically feeling my breath worked exactly once (and miraculously at that) but I've had a hard time keeping my focus on my breath without thinking about it too.
When I go to feel my inner body, I can feel myself stop thinking. I can feel my attention return to the Now. It's almost like tripping, in that I become still and see how wild this moment really is.
What's cool about "feeling the inner body" is that when you feel for something, eventually you're going to find it. Yesterday as Kel and I walked downtown, I started to feel like I was petting a rabbit's foot in my chest with my attention. It felt wonderful for a minute, but I remembered that Tolle suggests not getting too attached to visions or visualizations related to the inner body, because they are thought forms too.
One of my favorite tools from Practicing the Power of Now is this: "Ask yourself: Is there joy, ease, and lightness in what I am doing? If there isn't, then time is covering up the present moment, and life is perceived as a burden or a struggle."
Yesterday I woke up a little tired and asked myself, "Is there ease in what I'm doing?" My mind replied with a hearty NO, so I tried to feel my inner body. Instantly my attention was pulled back to the present moment, staring at my feet in the bathtub. I felt better right away.
Tolle says "Enlightenment means rising above thought." I feel like my whole life design practice the past 2 years has been about releasing thought, or rising above it, or whatever. Sometimes I just can't believe how hard it is. It's mindblowing that our entire culture, society, race--whatever--has been completely dominated by thought. And how bizarre is it that there is infinite life BEYOND thought?!
Here are some more Tolle ideas from Practicing the Power of Now: Essential Teachings, Meditations, and Exercises From The Power of Now to help us remember what to do when it comes to presence and feeling the inner body:
"To stay present in everyday life, it helps to be deeply rooted within yourself; otherwise, the mind, which has incredible momentum, will drag you along like a wild river.
It means to inhabit your body fully. To always have some of your attention in the inner energy field of your body. To feel the body from within, so to speak. Body awareness keeps you present. It anchors you in the Now." -p 59
"To become conscious of Being, you need to reclaim consciousness from the mind. This is one of the most essential tasks on your spiritual journey. It will free vast amounts of consciousness that previously had been trapped in useless and compulsive thinking. A very effective way of doing this is simply to take the focus of your attention away from thinking and direct it into the body, where Being can be felt in the first instance as the invisible energy field that gives life to what you perceive as the physical body." -pp 59-60
"The key is to be in a state of permanent connectedness with your inner body--to feel it at all times. This will rapidly deepen and transform your life. The more consciousness you direct into the inner body, the higher its vibrational frequency becomes, much like a light that grows brighter as you turn up the dimmer switch and so increase the flow of electricity. At this higher energy level, negativity cannot affect you anymore, and you tend to attract new circumstances that reflect this higher frequency.
If you keep your attention in the body as much as possible, you will be anchored in the Now." -pp 64-65
40 Day Prosperity Plan Day 14: Through my consciousness of my God-Self, the Christ within, as my Source, I draw into my mind and feeling nature the very substance of Spirit. This substance is my supply, thus my consciousness of the Presence of God within me is my supply.
This coincides so perfectly with Practicing the Power of Now. Tolle says that your inner body is your portal to the Now--to the infinite, the unknown, source. My consciousness of my inner body is the same as my consciousness of the Presence of God within me.
I am learning to be one with life, and trust the flow. Another beautiful Tolle idea: "You can always cope with the Now, but you can never cope with the future--nor do you have to. The answer, the strength, the right action, or the resource will be there when you need it, not before, not after."
Learning to have faith/belief/knowing in that idea is literally hard to swallow--I'm sitting here choking on my own spit as I try to type. It contrasts so starkly with my parents' version of security, which comes with a dollar sign.
I am so grateful to be learning the only true kind of security, the security of being one with life.
The more I stay in touch with my inner body (my consciousness of the Presence of God), the more wonderful manifestations occur. We sold a book to our friend's parents, which was shocking and so flattering. A friend at brunch complimented my "mindfulness posts" which blew me away--I had no idea she read my site! And then we had a visit from a long lost friend Lucy which was SUCH a major manifestation. Oh and Kelly got a haircut from a friend for free, and I got an amazing massage. It's almost as if everything is working out for us!
I see that true prosperity has nothing to do with money, but only being aware of the "fullness of life" as Tolle calls it. I feel prosperous when I get to be with my friends. I feel prosperous when we have money to go to a birthday brunch. I feel prosperous when my friend's parents support my work! I feel prosperous when my dad calls me to tell me he can fix a piece of furniture I have that broke! I feel prosperous when my dad talks so sweetly about his pet cat! (His compassion for felines is a recent development--as a child the saying always went, "The only good cat is a dead cat!")
I feel prosperous when it's 70º in February and I get to bike clear through Austin, effortlessly. I feel prosperous when there are bike lanes and light traffic. I feel prosperous when we go to the grocery store and spend $9 on vegetables. I feel prosperous when it's easy to bike 14 miles. I feel prosperous when I get to visit my old neighborhood.
I feel prosperous when I get surprise texts from friends at 9am and I'm actually awake and dressed. I feel prosperous when I have plans I'm looking forward to. I feel prosperous when I crush on friends I've had for years. I feel prosperous when people ask us for website advice.
I feel prosperous when my favorite song comes on Pandora. I feel prosperous when I don't need money to feel prosperous!
I feel prosperous when my wife falls asleep in my arms. I feel prosperous when my kitties are so happy we're home. I feel prosperous when Kelly takes care of our plant Cecil!
40 Day Prosperity Plan Day 13: I am conscious of the Inner Presence as my lavish Abundance. I am conscious of the constant activity of this Mind of infinite Prosperity. Therefore, my consciousness is filled with the Light of Truth.
Being the observer of thought is how to connect to the divine presence. It's how to BE the divine presence. If you are watching your thoughts, you are the silent watcher, the infinite, the unknown.
We sat for 15 minutes this afternoon. I asked, "What is it I need to know?" The answer: "You have to let go of things to make space for new things to come in. It's time to let go."
There are so many things taking up space in my life. If I let them go, there would be a lot of space for new things to come in. If could let go of my addictions and make space. I could let go of junk food and alcohol and weed and caffeine (mmm maybe not caffeine right away)*. There would be so much space without those things. I am afraid to be without them because I am afraid that nothing would fill those space. I understand my attachment to these things is fear. I understand that I cling to these things because I don't trust life to take care of me. Life won't comfort me, so I turn to these things to comfort me.
I am letting go of these false comforts and welcome the comfort of emptiness, of space, of the unknown, of being one with life.
If I let go of these comforts, I will receive comfort from life that is bigger and better than I could imagine. This is my new belief.
*Oh and not to mention the false comfort of Internet/social media/compulsive insta-gmail-twitter-fb. Baby steps.