In case you've been waiting in suspense, I failed my audition to be a kickboxing instructor. The specific feedback was, "technique was weak, no power, movement was not authentic to combat and timing was shaky." I've spent the last week feeling like a weak reject loser, but today I'm feeling better. All day every day I tell others, "Trust the process of life! When bad things happen, it's a solution!" Though I haven't really become a match to the solution yet, I'm trying to take my own advice. Everything happens for a reason, and life has bigger and better things in store for me. Here are some ideas that got me through the week.
1. Practice not doing.
I'm a striver. I set goals, I try, I make effort. I've found the harder I try, the more I push what I want away from me. This week, practice not trying. See if you can let what you want come to you. Take zero action, even when you think you should. Unless wild horses couldn't stop you, chill. See if it is any more satisfying than working your ass off for minimal results.
2. The things we love we have to learn to leave alone.
This idea comes from Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao. This book is so good we had to check it out from the library twice. I can BARELY comprehend how to put this advice into practice, because it is so natural to want to take action involving the things you love. But think of a plant: there is no amount of coaxing or effort you can take to make it grow faster. Sure, you can provide the right conditions, but worrying about a natural process is a waste of time. Think of your life and the things you love as flowers. Just leave them alone to blossom in peace.
3. Let go of any ideas you have about controlling anything or anyone, including yourself.
This is another idea from Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao. Give up trying to control myself?! What music to my ears! My whole life has been a losing battle with self control. Don't eat that! Don't text that person! Don't say that online! CONTROL YOURSELF, JESSICA! Fuck that. No one has any control. Let's embrace it.
4. Try this mantra: "I'm a winner!"
Once I identified that yes, I did actually feel like a loser, I knew I had to switch to the other side of the wave. Even though saying "I'm a winner" feels a little forced, as soon as I thought it, I was able to see evidence that I was successful. The day after I heard news of my epic audition fail, I won $300 in restaurant gift cards. See, I got first place in something!
5. Practice not caring.
Don't you hate it when you care about a specific outcome? You want someone to text you, or you want to get that job you interviewed for, or you want a project to go a certain way. The more attached to the outcome you are, the less likely you are to get it. Try releasing your attachment to the outcome. Attempt to truly not care if that person texts you--because you are your own reason for feeling good. The goal is to feel good regardless of your circumstances, so that no matter what happens, you still have your unshakeable sense of peace and well being.
6. Be conscious of every breath.
Keeping your attention on your breath in every moment keeps your attention on your connection to source. It keeps you from becoming over-identified with your thoughts and losing conscious awareness. When I had this realization as I was riding my bike to the gym, I got kind of pissed. It seems like SO MUCH WORK to be conscious all the time. But then I remembered it's like any good habit--once you get in the flow of it, it almost does itself. It's just starting that's hard. Whatever method you use to maintain presence (i.e., not lost in your thoughts), use it as often as you can--with the goal being always.
7. There's a time for everything, including what you're experiencing today.
One of the techniques Wayne Dyer suggests for freeing yourself from your demanding ego is to practice saying, "There's a time for this." When you hear bad news, think, "There's a time to hear bad news. There's also a time for good news." When you tell yourself there is a time for the bad, you open yourself up to the good. And when something good happens, and you say, "There is a time for this good thing to happen," it also helps you appreciate it more, because you bring awareness to the temporary nature of reality. That good thing will also go away. Celebrate that there is a time for anything at all, because that is the miracle of being human.
8. Be as still as possible.
One of my favorite ideas is, "Be still and know." When you are still, you can become aware of the present moment. Still your body, focus your eyes on a single point, quiet your mind. When you are still, you can know the meaning of life. You can know your source. You may not be able to comprehend it or talk about it, but you can know "it". Whenever life gets you down, be still. The same circumstances getting you down will reveal themselves to be your greatest solution.
YOU ARE GOD IN HUMAN FORM! You can be or do or have anything you fancy! Trust this moment, embrace the contrast! What is your contrast???
I want to be my reason for feeling good instead of looking to things outside of me (coffee drugs food entertainment work friends etc) to make me feel better.
Breathe in and say I LOVE MYSELF
Breathe out and say Jessica I love and accept you exactly the way you are
You are just judging yourself. You can let go of your thoughts and judgements by returning to the now. Go back to "Jessica I love and accept you exactly the way you are."
That will rev you up to be a match to conscious breathing again, where you have access to feelings of confidence and power because you are feeling good about yourself, where you feel good just being alive.
Once you accept and love yourself the behaviors you judge will fall away anyway, because you love and accept yourself so there is no need to rebel or act out.
Jessica, I love and accept you exactly the way you are.
It's a pattern.
Duality / Separateness --> Judging self and world (creates contrast to inspire
Becoming one with self / the observer --> Practicing self-love (gives access to
Becoming one with reality --> Practicing conscious breathing (results in
Oneness / Divinity --> Absence of ego
Absence of ego generally leads to quantum leaps in perspective of self. Once the ego returns (we can't shut our minds off permanently, nor would we want to) and sees positive manifestations, it becomes attached to the manifestations and wants to take credit. This identification with manifestations again creates duality perspective, of "I am this who wants to hold onto that".
Holding on creates contrast, which creates pain. The pain can become so great that the individual is forced to crumble or rally, by practicing self-destruction or self-love.
After enough self-destruction the human experience seems set up to eventually realize self-love.
Once you love yourself, you can begin to love your reality, because you will begin to see that you are your reality.
Becoming one with reality tends to be a very in the Now situation, so there isn't much thought. An individual may choose to augment or assist this perspective with conscious breathing, a powerful method for being present. Placing the attention on the breath keeps the individual paying attention to the current moment.
A human may get so into the rhythm of breath that the ego completely falls away, resulting in a state of consciousness called divinity. It's where we sometimes go in meditation, or when we're holding onto a lover, or during extreme stress or exercise.
That state of pure joy and bliss releases so much resistance that positive manifestations rain down. We see that the manifestations are not what bring joy, it's the joy that brings manifestations. We feel no different when we get the big check, the phonecall, the new car, because we already felt the feeling of having those things before they could arrive.
Inevitably the ego gets involved, we start thinking about the manifestations, worrying, etc. And thus the cycle begins again. Surf the waves instead of getting sucked back under by going back to loving the self, to being at peace with what is, to embracing the contrast.
Prosperity Plan Day 6: My inner supply instantly and constantly takes on form and experience according to my needs and desires, and as the Principle of Supply in action, it is impossible for me to have any unfulfilled needs or desires.
This quote instantly reminded me of this quote I read yesterday on FB:
Trusting your Timing, by Bashar
We, as our Higher Self (Over-Soul) actually creates Time (as we experience it). Our Higher Self exists outside Time and Space. It projects portions of itself into specific time/space holograms (time/space matrixes), which we then experience as an incarnation. So, from the point of view of any one incarnation, there is time, there is "past, present, and future". But from the point of view of the Higher Self, there is no Time. It's all happening NOW. It's just one big Eternal-NOW. So keep in mind that our Higher Self is creating the actual "time" that we are experiencing in a linear fashion.
When we intensely want to do something now, and it is easily possible to do it, no problem. We just do it.
But if we intensely want to do something now, and it is NOT possible to do it NOW, we are then at a critical decision-junction:
We can choose to interpret this as
"I am not getting what I want."
Or, we can choose to interpret this as
"I always get what I want. If it's not available now, then there must be an excellent reason for this."
Which of these choices we make is critical in determining the outcome, as this choice is equivalent to selecting a BELIEF, and we then experience the outcome aligned with that belief.
If you choose to interpret the situation as
"I am not getting what I want.",
then, sure enough, you will continue to not get what you want.
But the alternative is this:
Choose to interpret this situation (of not being able to do what you want to do NOW) as
"I always get what I want."
"I always get what I want. If it's not available now, there must be an excellent reason for this."
You see, often our Higher Self "arranges" time in such a way that we do not get what we want when we initially want it, only because it wants us to first accumulate certain experiences, certain skills, certain appreciations, certain connections with other people, certain awarenesses - FIRST! So that when we do get to experience this thing we want, we will then be appreciating it and enjoying it on a much deeper and more profound level.
So when you want to do something and it is not immediately available, REMEMBER: Your Higher Self is merely delaying this experience, so you get some other experiences first, so that you may enjoy and appreciate this thing you want EVEN MORE, when you do get it.
So when you want to do something and it is not immediately available, TRUST YOUR TIMING.
Do not buy into the belief that
"I do not get what I want."
Instead, remind yourself:
"I always get what I want."
"I always get what I want. If it's not available now, then my Higher Self must have some experiences it wishes me to have first, so that when I do
get what I want, I'll be able to enjoy it even more. I'll be able to enjoy it on a much richer, deeper basis."
We sat for 15 minutes. My thoughts went first to, "I always get what I want," and I used that for a mantra for a while. Then I stared at the shadows the trees were making outside my window. I focused on my breath for a minute, before my neighbors walked by with their cute dogs. I was delighted.
I realized that if you can focus on your breath, you'll always be enjoying every moment for what it is. But then when good things start to happen, it's easy to get lost thinking about them. The trick is to return right back to your breath, right back to the Now, for each new moment, then better and better things can keep coming.
Breathe in and raise your vibration!
Breathe out and release your resistance.
This means don't think on top of/next to the breathing exercise. Place all of your attention on the breath. It will anchor you right here right now.