2013
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I scraped together my $324 credit card bill. It was easy. Now I need $433 before Thursday. I just transfered $18.36 from Paypal, so make that $415.
We’ve had to turn down invitations to dine out twice now. Opting to cook at home, Kelly and I are remembering the magick of food. We love to cook. It’s such a blessing.
I have never been more focused. I’ve always wanted this. A reason to stop buying so much food, a reason to say no, something external pushing me to work. It’s like the universe has become my dad. I just want someone to tell me what to do.
The most hilarious part of all of this is that I’m finally taking my own advice. I preach from the high fucking heavens all day every day, but how often do I do my own worksheets? Read my own books? Apply my own tips? Practice my own mantras?
I do practice, all the time. But now I’m beginning to truly believe in my work. My worksheets work. I just have to want something bad enough to do them. My contrast is so high right now, I know exactly what I want, and wild horses can’t stop me from doing everything I can to succeed.
The advice I have to take from myself is to stop doing. To stop caring, to stop worrying, to go with the flow. Stop chasing money. Stop chasing success. Be still. Allow. Receive.
The more I focus, the more beautiful the reflections I can see. Yesterday my friend Ari gifted me the best book I’ve ever read, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It. It’s one person’s story about using a mantra that actually worked: “I love myself.” It’s that simple.
Even as I drag my coin jar to Coinstar for booze money, I’m laughing at myself. This is so funny. It’s not serious. I still love myself at the bottom. I love myself. And I’m having more fun than ever before.
There is an apartment building in my neighborhood that has the words “Enjoy being” painted across the front of it. I love the concept, but up until recently I really had no idea what it meant.
In another part of Austin, on a bridge that crosses Lady Bird Lake, I’ve discovered explicit instructions sent from above to answer the question of how to enjoy being: “Focus one point and breathe.”
Focus one point and breathe. Feel one point on your body or look at one single speck and breathe. It’s the simplest flow toy there is. You know you’re outside of the Now if you lose your focus, break your gaze, or get distracted. But if you can keep your attention steady on one single point, whether it’s something you’re looking at or a point you’re feeeing on your body (for example, the point where breath enters and leaves your nostrils), you’ll feel the joy of simply being. It feels like tripping—that blissful state where you know everything is perfect and magickal right now, and things like money and time truly don’t matter.
When you direct all your attention and focus to a single point, you can see how what seems stationary is constantly changing. You can begin to see and feel the unfolding of life. It’s always in motion and there is no action you can take to influence it. All you can do is play with it and accept the gifts it constantly brings you.
Practice that state of being—the state of enjoying being—and that is the only work you will ever have to do on this Earth. Everything you want will unfold perfectly, now that you’ve gotten out of the way.
The kaleidoscope is a metaphor for reality. The mind is the center point on the ‘scope, and the mind chooses what passes through that center. Whatever passes through the center is then reflected through the entire available view, just as whatever thought passes through your mind is reflected through your entire reality.
The mind will never see the big picture, because it has a very limited perspective of a single point. Whatever shape it chooses, it chooses based on a linear perspective of time. It wants so bad to create the big picture pattern, but it can never see the pattern. So it chooses shapes to the best of it’s ability with limited perspective.
Consciousness sees the bigger picture, the entire kaleidoscope view. When you zoom out to become consciousness, instead of just your mind, you get a sense of the overall pattern of things, how they’re all connected. But if you stay mind-identified, you will try and try and try to pick the right shape to make the big-picture pattern you want, but with a time-based linear perspective, you will never be able to see the patterns you’re creating.
The mind wants to choose the right shape to make the big picture pattern, but mostly it just wants to keep passing through shapes. The trick is to zoom out and see the big picture and know that the mind cannot logically select the proper shape to create the big-picture pattern. Only broader consciousness can do that.
The mind may try to force the shapes it thinks will create the pattern. It will select the same shape over and over, trying to make it work, but forcing a logically selected shape (i.e., experience) will only cloud and dim the big picture. We must surrender the task of choosing experiences to the broader perspective of consciousness. We must surrender our need to logically decide what’s best for us and let the flow provide us with the shapes or experiences we need to create the big picture pattern we want.
When a shape passes through the center of the kaleidoscope, it happens Now. But shapes that have previously passed through the center are still being reflected through the big picture view. What shape passes through the center Now affects the shapes that have already passed through the center. This is a way to understand how what thoughts or experiences the mind chooses right now affect the past and future. The current shape moves the other shapes not currently passing through the center. Our present thoughts affect our past and future.
Using your mind to decide what to do will always produce weak results because the mind cannot see the big picture. The mind is the single point of perspective that allows us to experience reality in the way we do, but it is just a single point. Our lives are the big picture kaleidoscope view, which we are capable of seeing when we step outside of our minds to the perspective of broader consciousness.
My point is this: allow the flow to determine what shapes pass through your mind. Whatever desires, experiences, or thoughts come to you, say yes to them. The flow is giving them to you because the flow sees the bigger picture pattern, and knows exactly what shape to give you next to create the pattern you want to live. Don’t let your mind trick you into believing it knows what’s best for you. Your rules, limiting beliefs and resolutions are only resisting the gifts the flow provides. Say yes to whatever passes through the center of your kaleidoscope and watch the exact pattern you desire unfold, more perfect and beautiful than you ever imagined.
Ask your Self, “What’s the most fun thing I can do right now?” Even if it seems silly, even if it sounds weird, even if it scares you, DO IT! Everything you want is waiting for you!
Choose to feel good first.
Your mind won’t believe it.
It will tell you those tools and processes won’t work. They won’t feel as good as a drink, or a drug, or a drivethru.
Remember the last time life was running smoothly. What was different?
You decided to care about how you felt.
You told your mind to shut the fuck up.
Once you learn the lesson for yourself, you’ll forget.
But you’ll remember again, and this time it’s easier.
You’ll go higher, further, deeper.
When you get so low that you’re afraid for your health, or your safety, or your life,
just laugh. It’s not that serious. I promise.
Your laugh is your ticket to the ride back up.
When you feel good, milk it. Milk it, milk it, milk it.
Remember every detail. Paint pictures. Pray harder than ever before.
You’ll be so grateful you have a bookmarked place to return to.
When you start blaming caffeine, or weed, or your job for your bad mood,
remember that when you feel good, none of those things matter.
You can have it all.
Take a picture of your good feelings. Write them down.
When you feel bad enough, you’ll remember about your bookmarks.
How did I feel good again?
Eventually you’ll prove to yourself again and again,
feeling good is the only way to get what you want.
Feel good no matter what. Feel good no matter what.
When you catch that good feeling, memorize it.
Write about it. Be it. Bask in the feeling of feeling good
even though you’re broke. Even though you’re broken.
And what you want will come,
and you won’t care,
because you already have everything you need inside.
Why do we drink so much coffee? Most of us may answer something like, “I drink coffee because I don’t have enough time to sleep as much as I should.” Life is too exciting, there’s too much to see, and way too much to do. How can anyone keep up with the speed of business and technology if they sleep 8 hours a night?!
We are so dependent on caffeine because of the limiting beliefs surrounding it. It’s one of those things like deodorant that we just don’t question much because it’s so ingrained in our daily lives. But as I learn to focus on being the Now, I’m realizing I use caffeine and other stimulants because I’m not fully trusting the flow of life to take care of me.
The limiting beliefs of caffeine
1. Without caffeine, I won’t have enough energy to do the things I don’t want to do.
2. Without caffeine, I won’t have enough energy to do the things I DO want to do.
3. Without caffeine, I can’t keep up with everyone else in the business world.
4. Without caffeine, I’ll be in a bad mood because I’ll be tired.
5. Life just isn’t as fun without something outside of me to make me feel good.
Every one of those beliefs is terribly flawed, as I’m sure you can see. I don’t need to get into the why’s—you know that each one of those thoughts is a trained belief that has been installed and perpetuated by our collective society. But what is behind each one of those beliefs? A lack of trust in the process of life.
Life knows the way
The thing about life is that it’s much simpler than we build it up in our minds to be. There is a glue that holds us all together, and that glue communicates with us through our emotions. When we feel good, we’re working with the glue. When we feel bad, we’re struggling against the glue—a hopeless battle. The glue (or flow, or source, or god, etc) always knows what’s up, because the glue IS everything. So when you feel the glue telling you something via your emotions, such as “All I want to do is sleep,” then LISTEN. Don’t drink coffee to battle the glue. It will always fail, and you will continue to feel worse because you aren’t listening to what life is telling you what to do.
Life wants so badly to bring you to the things you want. It doesn’t care what you want, it just wants to co-create with you and flow from here to there. When you listen to your emotions, you are letting life guide you towards what you want.
So right now, life is telling me that I don’t have to skimp on sleep or be hyper on espresso to get what I want. Life will take me to where I want to go in a way that is easiest and most comfortable for me. On the days when it’s important for me to get up early, life will wake me up before my alarm clock. On days when nothing I do could change a thing, life will let me sleep for 12 hours. It’s not my job to decide how much sleep I need. It’s not even my job to set my alarm. If I fully trust the flow of life, the flow of life will take me exactly where I want to go. And I’ll feel so much less cracked-out when I get there.
Note: this article is written to those of us in the throes of caffeine addiction, not casual drinkers. Everything in life is delicious in moderation, it’s only when we begin to rely on things outside of ourselves to feel good that we lose connection to our own internal guidance systems.
On December 30, 2010, I was introduced to an odd little toy comprised of three balls on a string—Astrojax. I was in a state of consciousness that had my mind cracked wide open, and I was able to have something resembling a conversation with the toy as I explored it for the first time. It didn’t speak to me in words, but instead communicated with my body. As I began swinging the toy around in a circular motion (otherwise known as a wheely), I felt like the answers to the mysteries of the universe were being downloaded into my hands.
Invented by physicist Larry Shaw in 1987, Astrojax is a toy that demonstrates the way things work. They explain the flow of the universe to your body. I talk about flow a LOT, and before I played with Astrojax I didn’t even know what flow was! I can describe it in words as “perfect timing” or “synchronous co-creation with god”, but the flow is really something you can only understand when you feel it.
Everyone experiences flow in some manner, even if they aren’t aware of it. Athletes and musicians feel flow when they perform. To flow is to play in harmony with the universe. You feel it in your body when you flow. Everything is on beat, and your body acts without thinking about it. In the flow, time flies by in an instant. In the flow, you don’t care about anything else because the present moment is so fun. Cashiers feel it during busy hours. Writers feel it when they get in their writing zone. Artists feel it as they paint. Programmers feel it when they code.
The reason why Astrojax is such a significant technology is because it gives you access to that flow state instantly. Every single person I have ever introduced Astrojax to “gets it” immediately. They pick up the toy, at first intimidated because they worry they won’t be able to do it. But everyone can do the first move, and as soon as they get the balls spinning, they feel the flow.
Reactions range from “wow, that’s actually fun!” to “I could really use this to relax”. Children get particularly obsessed, and some people get a little freaked out by how deep the experience is. Some people simply walk away with a smile on their faces, and highly conscious people tend to buy a set on the spot. The difference is that the highly conscious recognize the feeling of flow and are excited to have an instant portal to the state.
But Astrojax = sexy?!
When I first started playing in public, I felt like the biggest weirdo ever. I felt silly and a little awkward, because most people had never even seen Astrojax before and I wasn’t exactly demonstrating mad skills. But it just felt so good to play, and since feeling good is the only thing that really matters in life, I decided it was worth it to look like a freak. I mean, how much weirder can I look anyway?
Instead of turning me into a freak, Astrojax reminded me how to play. That’s what flow is—playing with the universe. And you know what one of the sexiest qualities in a person is? Playfulness! Don’t you love it when people joke and laugh and don’t take things seriously? Isn’t it attractive when people look like children because they’re having too much fun to be self-conscious? That is why Astrojax is sexy. Haha, not that Astrojax turns you into a sexy kid, but it makes you light-hearted again. It makes you want to dance. It relaxes you and tell you secrets. It reminds you of everything good you knew as a child. Astrojax whispers the meaning of life to your body, and your mind will delight in trying to keep up.
How do I get Astrojax?
If you’re ready for a more playful 2012, you can support Kelly and me by purchasing Astrojax through our store, or you can find them on Amazon. Kelly and I are the only vendors in Austin, so if you are local and want a set today, you can place an order for pickup. Astrojax make a great gift for children and ravers, and adults love them too if you remind them how to play.
Thanks jaci!
The number of women who are now approaching the fully conscious state already exceeds that of men and will be growing even faster in the years to come. Men may catch up to them in the end, but for some considerable time there will be a gap between the consciousness of men and that of women. Women are regaining the function that is their birthright, and, therefore, comes to them more naturally than it does to men: to be a bridge between the manifested world and the Unmanifested, between physicality and spirit. ~Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, p 167)
The very thing that makes you an emotional woman connects you to god. Women are no closer to enlightenment than men, but we have the advantage of being “in touch with our emotions”. We feel intuition strongly, and that is our power.
Embrace your power. Know that what you feel is real. Our ability to feel the flow of life makes us natural leaders during this transition to greater consciousness.
You don’t have to do anything to lead but be the most brilliant shining example of life you can be. And you do that by letting life live you. Let life guide you. Let your intuition take over. You feel it all day every day. When you follow your intuition, you feel good. And the only thing that matters is how you feel, not what you think.
Thank you Barabeke!
There is a flow to life, a rhythm or pulse that we all have access to, because we, too, are life. We, as humans, can consciously choose to live our lives in harmony with the flow, or we can choose to go against the flow.
To go with the flow, you follow your emotions. That’s why we have them – to tell us how close to the flow we are. When you think thoughts that feel good to you, you are going with the flow (e.g., thoughts of gratitude, appreciation or love). When you stop thought altogether (e.g., through meditation, exercise or flow toys), you are going with the flow.
To go against the flow, think resistant thoughts or take resistant action. Resistant thoughts are thoughts that make you feel bad. Resistant actions are actions that feel bad. Going against the flow tends to be exhausting and draining.
When you go with the flow, you are a cooperative component to the unfolding of life. Every time you have a desire, the flow takes note and begins shifting your reality to bring you your desire. When you go with the flow (by thinking thoughts and taking actions that feel good), you’ll find your desires manifesting in unexpected and magickal ways. That’s the flow of life supporting you.
There are words to describe moments in flow, like synchronicity or perfect timing. There are words to describe the flow itself, like god or source energy or love. The flow is all of life itself, as a whole. It is always in motion, and it is always growing, and it is always good. The flow of life wants to support every one of it’s forms, and so when you choose to cooperate by trusting and going with the flow, life can fulfill both individual desires and serve the greater good all at once.
thank you Spreng Ben!!
The impossible is happening more often. Because of the Internet and evolution of human consciousness, our connected nature is creating an awareness of the “energy behind everything” (also known as god, or source energy, or hive mind, or MetaMan, or the flow of well being). As humans, we are collectively relearning a dormant sense: the flow sense.
The flow sense is being able to perceive the energy behind everything (that knows everything), and listen to it’s infinite intelligence. It’s so beautiful to be human because not only do we have an easy guidance system (emotions) directing us to the flow, but we also have an individual mind to create in flow. Creating in flow is to have a desire and feel the satisfaction of having it come to you, because the force that knows everything arranged reality in just the right way for you to get what you want.
To be a cooperative component when creating (thinking) with the hive mind, don’t resist the flow with questions of how your desires are manifesting. Reality is complex and it can take some time to get the things you want. Just let each desire go as you have it and find a way to feel good without it.
The things you want are either going to happen or not, and there’s nothing you can DO about it (you can’t control all the moving parts that are needed to get your big dreams to you), aside from by offering as little resistance as possible. You offer cooperation instead when you think positive thoughts (your mind is creating this experience after all! it’s the engine!) that are full of knowing and trust in the power of source energy (i.e., god or Christ or flow). You offer cooperation when you meditate and quiet your mind so you can hear what infinite intelligence is guiding you to. You will hear it by attracting a thought that contains your solution, or a step on the way.
