I used to be bulimic. I would eat a pizza and some ice cream and maybe some snack cakes and then I’d puke it back up. On the surface it was fun and relaxing, but I always knew it wasn’t really a sustainable way to deal with life.
I stopped barfing when Kelly moved in with me, nearly 6 years ago. But food is still one of my drugs of choice, so when I feel stressed or sad or don’t want to deal with my life, I overeat.
I always start counting my calories under the guise of weightloss (it’s the only thing I’ve ever found that works), but really I’m just budgeting instead of being unconscious.
After years of unconsciously spending credit, I went broke and had to start budgeting. The same thing happens with food–I go into calorie debt and start gaining weight.
Counting calories helps me know when to stop eating so I don’t use food to deal with my emotions. Once I’ve had my budget for the day, I have to find some other way to feel good.
Even when I’m counting calories using MyFitnessPal, it can still be hard to keep it together. I have a tendency to count my calories all day, but then nightfall hits and I hit the liquor store. The liquor store invariably leads to drunken food purchases, which is a very annoying pattern.
So I post my little screen grabs on Instagram, because it keeps me from overeating and having to post an embarrassing calorie count. The fact that I get embarrassed by what I eat is a whole different therapy session in itself, but for now I’m doing this because it works.
I intend to keep this practice up for every day of 2014, so make your account-following plans accordingly. I know that I would be absolutely riveted by a regular calorie-intake update from any of my friends, so I hope I can provide you the same enjoyment!
- I don’t usually bother to find exact foods or brands in the app, so sometimes it will say I had 3 tomato slices from Subway or a Popeyes mashed potatoes even though I have never eaten there before.
- Sometimes if I simply must drink or snack at night, I put those foods as breakfast for the next day. That’s why you may have seen vodka and pizza for breakfast before…
- I still get my feelings hurt when people comment on my eating habits, but the benefits of perceived public scrutiny outweigh the actual feedback I get. Please don’t judge me. I’m doing my best.
A few weeks ago, Kelly told me she wanted to write a story about growing teeth back. “Neat. But… whatever,” I thought. I didn’t believe in no stinkin’ teeth growing back. But wouldn’t it be nice?
A few days later she stumbled across an article linking tooth regeneration to nutrition. It might not have been the most reputable source, but holy crap! Tooth regeneration!
Then a couple days ago I discovered the idea of “oil pulling,” where you swish coconut oil around in your mouth for 20 minutes a day. The antibacterial oil pulls toxins from your teeth and may even heal cavities. I shared the article on Facebook and lo and behold, I already had friends trying the practice!
Today a friend encouraged me to try the oil pulling myself. I did so begrudgingly, but it really wasn’t that gross. I don’t have any cavities, but I sure want to keep it that way.
To recap: in less than a month, Kelly and I went from wanting to believe in tooth regeneration, to seeing evidence of it everywhere, to finding ways to test the theory ourselves.
What do you want to believe? Make your list and let the universe provide the evidence! Start looking for the TINIEST speck of proof that your belief is true, and you’ll start a snowball of indicators that will eventually result in your belief becoming truth.
Does seeing the word Adderall make you salivate? Does it unleash an unreasonable craving, or pull up fun memories?
On November 24, 2013, I quit taking addies for good. I needed too much, I was abusing it, to the point that a friend had to step in and say something.
I’ve been experimenting with the medicine since I was 15, when someone at school gave me a tiny blue 5mg pill. Eager to try anything my parents said I shouldn’t, I began a 16 year infatuation with legal speed.
Adderall is just too good. It keeps you awake, makes you feel euphoric, lets you drink more alcohol and eat less food.
It is also a highly addictive amphetamine, and few people I know are able to turn it down when offered.
There’s nothing wrong with taking some occasional speed. And there may be some people in the universe who genuinely benefit from their prescription. But if you are a star child here to help consciousness evolve, it might be time to let the uppers go. According to starchildren.info,
It is critically important that if your child gets diagnosed with ADD or ADHD that you don’t run out and join the medicated child bandwagon. Medicating these special children will severely inhibit their abilities. This is a really easy option for many parents who just aren’t patient or can’t handle their Indigo children. Try to look at the bigger picture. You and your child have both previously agreed to your arrangement before you even set foot on this earth. Know that children can be handled without medication. This may be very difficult for some parents so consider joining a support group or even better, order up an angel to help you! It’s a difficult journey but one that can be made through together. The problem with medicating Indigo Children is that it lowers their vibrational frequency. They will be unable to or find it extremely difficult to fulfill their life’s purpose at this lower energy level.
After taking high doses of addy and observing my behavior, I noticed the drawbacks were beginning to outweigh the advantages. I constantly felt “lacking,” waiting for my next dose. There is never enough. I don’t want to share. After a few days on the stuff, I could barely smile because the tension in my head was so high. And coming down off an addy binge is horrific–no motivation, shortness of breath, weakness, boredom and depression, and wanting to eat every pizza I see.
Adderall takes such a prominent place in my daily life design guide because I see it as a mind-based epidemic spiraling out of control like obesity. It’s a symptom of our collective psychotic mind, over-thinking so much that we need an energy boost to keep up. Want another perspective? Check out Cat Marnell’s explanation of why we all need to finally get off the Adderall.
I feel so much better when I’m off addy. I’m glad I got to have all the fun I did with it, but it’s no longer serving my spiritual evolution. I write this having just drunk 2 shots of espresso, another legal stimulant I may someday wish to let go. Baby steps though right?
How do you feel about Adderall, legal speed, and uppers in your life design practice?