I used to be bulimic. I would eat a pizza and some ice cream and maybe some snack cakes and then I'd puke it back up. On the surface it was fun and relaxing, but I always knew it wasn't really a sustainable way to deal with life.
I stopped barfing when Kelly moved in with me, nearly 6 years ago. But food is still one of my drugs of choice, so when I feel stressed or sad or don't want to deal with my life, I overeat.
I always start counting my calories under the guise of weightloss (it's the only thing I've ever found that works), but really I'm just budgeting instead of being unconscious.
After years of unconsciously spending credit, I went broke and had to start budgeting. The same thing happens with food--I go into calorie debt and start gaining weight.
Counting calories helps me know when to stop eating so I don't use food to deal with my emotions. Once I've had my budget for the day, I have to find some other way to feel good.
Even when I'm counting calories using MyFitnessPal, it can still be hard to keep it together. I have a tendency to count my calories all day, but then nightfall hits and I hit the liquor store. The liquor store invariably leads to drunken food purchases, which is a very annoying pattern.
So I post my little screen grabs on Instagram, because it keeps me from overeating and having to post an embarrassing calorie count. The fact that I get embarrassed by what I eat is a whole different therapy session in itself, but for now I'm doing this because it works.
I intend to keep this practice up for every day of 2014, so make your account-following plans accordingly. I know that I would be absolutely riveted by a regular calorie-intake update from any of my friends, so I hope I can provide you the same enjoyment!
- I don't usually bother to find exact foods or brands in the app, so sometimes it will say I had 3 tomato slices from Subway or a Popeyes mashed potatoes even though I have never eaten there before.
- Sometimes if I simply must drink or snack at night, I put those foods as breakfast for the next day. That's why you may have seen vodka and pizza for breakfast before...
- I still get my feelings hurt when people comment on my eating habits, but the benefits of perceived public scrutiny outweigh the actual feedback I get. Please don't judge me. I'm doing my best.
Saturday night Kelly and I were going to walk to 7-11 for a frozen pizza.
We've been upping our health game lately, so we've been counting calories and eating less, but our fondness for pizza knows no bounds.
Pizza was going to put us way over budget, but we were giving in. We were hungry.
Then I started playing Astrojax. I found myself actually having fun playing, so much that I wanted to record a video to see my progress.
The video was aight. But I did notice that my arms look slimmer. And so do my legs.
So a few minutes later when Kelly said, "You ready to go?" I said, "Don't you just want to go to bed? I watched my video and I looked slimmer. I can't fuck with that."
We didn't go. That is why lifestreaming is a life design methodology. It's just a mirror. If you can see it, you can measure it. If you can measure it, you can manage it. If you manage it, you change.
If you really want to change your life right now, sign up for Bluehost* webhosting, install WordPress and start sharing your experience. That's how you can make a quantum leap of awareness from being yourself and your thoughts to watching yourself and your thoughts. It's a meta-perspective on your life. It lets you look at yourself outside of yourself and realize you're not just your body. There's another part of you that's aware of who you are.
(I recommend Bluehost because it's who I've been using for the past 4 years. They are very reliable and easy to work with. I get a commission if you use my link--thank you for supporting jessicamullen.com!)
All that matters in life is how you feel. How you feel determines the experiences you attract. If you believe good things happen when you feel good, why bother feeling bad ever again?
Unconditional love and feeling good no matter what are the same thing. Tuning to a vibration of unconditional love, or a state of mind where your good mood is unshakable, definitely takes practice. It pays off though—those joyful octaves of life experience are what give meaning to life, and unconditional love is what we all strive for in our hearts.
How can we practice living from a state of unconditional love? How can we practice feeling good no matter what? It's easier than it sounds, and many of us already do it: lifestreaming! (Did you see that one coming?)
Lifestreaming is an act of appreciating one's life experience. By looking for things about your life you want to share on the Internet, you are actively seeking out things to feel good about. Appreciation is the same feeling as love. And when you appreciate, what you appreciate grows in value. Abraham says,
If all you did was just look for things to appreciate you would live a joyous, spectacular life. If there was nothing else that you ever came to understand other than just look for things to appreciate, it’s the only tool you would ever need to predominantly hook you up with who you really are. That’s all you’d need.
To feel good no matter what, you don't have to first fix what's wrong with you, lose 10 pounds, get a new job, or find a perfect lover. You don't have to have any money, you don't have to have tons of friends, and you don't have to change. You can be exactly who you are, right now, and still feel unshakably, unconditionally good. All you have to do is look for things to appreciate about your life. In each moment of your experience, there are thousands of things you could appreciate.
I'm proposing lifestreaming as a long-term solution for humanity as a whole. The technology may not be as prevalent as television (yet), and it still might feel weird to let go of some privacy and appear vulnerable in public. But when we look for things to appreciate about our lives and share them with others, it inspires other people to look for things to appreciate in their own lives.
If we can collectively train ourselves into a constant state of appreciation, we will be living in unconditional love. We will all feel good no matter what. Can you imagine?! For our species as a whole to operate from a place of love, instead of fear?
Lifestreaming may not be for everyone (yet...). But if it turns you off, ask yourself why. Would it make you feel conceited? Would it make you feel bad for sharing how good your life is when other people don't have it as good? Would you be afraid of attack or backlash?
Remember that you are perfect, and you deserve to be celebrated. There is nothing to be afraid of (literally, I promise, I guarantee it!) because everything that happens in your life experience is a solution.
Lifestreaming as a life design practice, and as a technology, is still just a baby. There are infinite ways it can grow and expand and benefit us. For now, I'll leave it as a way to practice appreciation, feeling good, and loving unconditionally. What happens after that is for you to discover.
Examples of lifestreaming love
There are as many ways to lifestream as there are ways to communicate. You can share photos, write about gratitude, or channel dolphins. Here are several lifestreamers creating huge waves of love in their lives that may inspire you to share more of your own incredible life.
- Sunny Smith: "so grateful that i am self-aware. so grateful that i can hear the hum. so grateful that i can feel the flow. so grateful that i can do this."
- Novaa Veo: "I've got a lot of awesome happening in my life right now. Let’s talk about it."
- Katja Simone: beautiful photography of the Now.
- Sarah Monster Gilbert: a brilliant artist sharing recent work.
- Betty Leigh Verbeke: "I love the life I am making. I love the reflections I’m seeing. It’s all just so ridiculously wonderful."
- Jen Bullinger: "I'm grateful for new opportunities on the horizon. I’m grateful to know that when I start to make a move, the Universe matches me with an even more awesome rebuttal."
- Kelly Cree: "it feels good to focus / to stay laser focused to hold / love in my heart / it feels good to take responsibility"
- Sara Whittemore: "What do you do after you make the choice? You change your perspective. Perspective change is similar to the concept of creating a new life story which allows you to change your thoughts by creating a new version of your present situation (your story)."
- Lorra Fae: "I just got hit with the stab of deep gratitude ... How crazy it is to just be SLAMMED with this notion. It makes breathing a joy, just lying here in bed, inhabiting this body, fully present. Feeling ALIVE."
- Mia Moore: "SO GRATEFUL THAT MY GOAL IS TO FEEL GOOD AND I AM SO GOOD AT ACCOMPLISHING IT! SO GRATEFUL I GET TO SMILE SO OFTEN! SO GRATEFUL THAT THIS IS REALLY MY LIFE! WOW, I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!"
- Lynn Fang: "Grateful to accept who I am. Grateful to express public gratitude. Grateful to break through walls, expand my consciousness, and ultimately gain greater self-confidence and awareness."
- Erin Kys: "Ask for what you want. IT'S THAT EASY." Plus: BACON CUPCAKES.
More lifestreaming resources
To join in on the life design and lifestreaming conversation, visit the School of Life Design Facebook group. For an introductory lesson on starting a lifestream practice, read the School of Life Design Lesson 2: Designing the Digital You. To start your own self-hosted website, please support the School of Life Design by getting a website through Bluehost. Finally, check out my lifestream too!