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When I wrote about my coming out story, I was writing from fear. I was focusing on something I felt guilty about. I was trying to escape shame. And it worked! It made me feel supported and loved and relieved to write that.
Now I see how I needed that at the time, but it is no longer prudent to write about factual mortal physical reality.
If I cannot at this moment write my vision, I can at least write about what I love in my life. I can create out of love instead of using writing to fearfully pop the zits of my consciousness, digging and digging trying to eradicate the dark spots for a moment of relief. When the mark takes days to heal, I inevitably remember, “I should never touch them! They always disappear when I’m not focused on them.”
It’s exactly the same for the rest of our lives. The problems disappear when we’re not focused on them. They literally fade away. When you stop thinking about your problems, you’ll find you no longer have them.
Here are three routes to stop thinking about your problems.
#1 Focus on bringing more of what you like in.
Don’t make goals to stop doing things like:
- overeating
- drinking
- eating meat
- doing drugs
Instead set intentions to fill your life more with things you enjoy. Allow these things to come to you naturally, instead of taking action to make them happen. For example:
- I intend to meditate a little bit every day.
- I intend to write.
- I intend to make art.
- I intend to practice hooping.
I have meditated every day since my “rehab” began. I’ve made more art and created more. I did a shitload of worksheets that helped keep me focused in times of extreme contrast.
But I’ve also drank, smoked, eaten meat, etc. Everything I wanted to stop was like “HELL NO! WE AIN’T GOIN’ NOWHERE!” The restrictions made me feel guilty while the additions made me feel joy and success.
#2: Use a mantra and seriously, for real, stick to thinking it all day.
GET CONTROL OF YOUR MIND. Tame the beast! It’s outta control in there!
Send a vibration of love. Meditate. Think in mantras. Count. Do whatever you have to do to maintain a meditative state of focus, all day. Say “I love myself” most of the time and “I love you” when interacting with other beings.
#3: Make Love Art
The third way to stop thinking about your problems is to actively create about what you already have that you like. What I’d like to be doing on my site, instead of lamenting financial acne, is creating content about all the things I love and would love more of:
- flow toys
- homecooked vegan food
- good music
- friends
- kitties
That list was a little hard to generate. I haven’t done this in a long time. I became so quickly habituated to the good things in my life that I forgot to feel grateful until they started slipping away.
I intend to spend time focusing on what I love that I already have!
So simple. It’s always so simple.
Welcome to Tuesday Tips, a weekly compilation of thoughts I like to think. This week, I’ve spent a lot of time focusing on enjoying myself wherever I am. I have enough life experience to know that when I choose to feel good in the moment, anything I’m worrying about works itself out and the flow whisks me away. Saying “I’m so happy to be here” helps me stop thinking about wanting to be somewhere else, with someone else, doing something else. When I’m happy with what I have, the universe keeps bringing me more things to be happy about. Below are some other ideas I’ve come across that help me stick to my mission: to feel good no matter what!
1. Practice telling the story describing your success.
Often when we want something, Kelly and I will imagine the conversation we’ll have when the desire manifests. For example, I want to have a good day at work. So I imagine driving home with Kelly, laughing and having fun. I imagine telling her how I had the desire to have a good day and I practiced the feeling by imagining a joyful drive home, during which we laugh and celebrate all the great things that happened. Now that I have had the vision of my success, all I have to do is forget about it and it’ll come. (Thanks for the Rodney Vision story, Molly!)
2. Trade hot dogs for titties.
What if hot dogs were currency for titties? Anything could happen. Remember that, like everything else, currency is created by you and it can be anything you want. Imagine a currency in flow. You’d always be in the right place at the right time with the right thing to trade for exactly what you want. (Thanks Rick!)
3. He who is hungry thinks about food.
Everything everyone says is a direct reflection of what they’re thinking about, which is a direct reflection of what you’re thinking about. (Thanks Armin!)
4. What would you do if money were no object?
Alan Watts says, “Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing, than a long life spent in a miserable way.” Never do anything you don’t want to do for the money, because you’ll just end up having to do more stuff you don’t want to do to get more money. Instead, do what you love and the money will follow.
5. Ask yourself, what do I desire?
List the things you want to have, the emotions you want to feel, and the things you want to be. Then rewrite the list in the form of affirmations. Decide what you have. Decide what you feel. Decide who you are, and that’s who you’ll be.
6. You’re on a mission. A mission for ecstasy!
Your only mission on earth is to feel good and let the flow through you. Your mission is to live your life – you can’t help but desire, and those desires are what allow infinite source energy to continue to expand. Your only mission is to let that flow through you. When you resist, you’re not on task.
7. See them with their puppy.
Halcyon published a super-awesome Hug Nation video in which he talks about an angry kid who was hard to be around. One day his family got a new puppy. When the little boy went to show someone the new puppy, he was completely transformed—acting in a kind, loving, joyful manner. Everyone has the potential to act like that little boy, so just try to see them in that state first. Imagine people at their best and they’ll meet your expectations.
8. Try this mantra: “I’m innocent.”
Most of my life I’ve spent feeling guilty. Guilty about having too much, guilty about having an easier life than others, guilty about getting what I want while someone else goes with out, guilty about my behavior. So I’ve decided to practice the opposite feeling—innocence. You’re just a baby animal doing your best. You haven’t done anything wrong. You are a good person living a good life!
9. Be sure as shit!
Project a vibration of certainty that you’re living the life you want. When you decide to know it’s happening, you allow it to flow into your experience. When you have the desire, it’s created. The universe is on it and trying to give it to you in every moment. Sure as shit. (Thanks Coco!)
Share what tips work for you!
Every week, I post a link to the tips in the School of Life Design group on Facebook. Choose which tip you want to apply to your life this week and let us know how it goes in this thread. We’d love to hear what resonates with you. Thanks for reading, playing and sharing! I love you so much!
All that matters in life is how you feel. How you feel determines the experiences you attract. If you believe good things happen when you feel good, why bother feeling bad ever again?
Unconditional love and feeling good no matter what are the same thing. Tuning to a vibration of unconditional love, or a state of mind where your good mood is unshakable, definitely takes practice. It pays off though—those joyful octaves of life experience are what give meaning to life, and unconditional love is what we all strive for in our hearts.
How can we practice living from a state of unconditional love? How can we practice feeling good no matter what? It’s easier than it sounds, and many of us already do it: lifestreaming! (Did you see that one coming?)
Lifestreaming is an act of appreciating one’s life experience. By looking for things about your life you want to share on the Internet, you are actively seeking out things to feel good about. Appreciation is the same feeling as love. And when you appreciate, what you appreciate grows in value. Abraham says,
If all you did was just look for things to appreciate you would live a joyous, spectacular life. If there was nothing else that you ever came to understand other than just look for things to appreciate, it’s the only tool you would ever need to predominantly hook you up with who you really are. That’s all you’d need.
To feel good no matter what, you don’t have to first fix what’s wrong with you, lose 10 pounds, get a new job, or find a perfect lover. You don’t have to have any money, you don’t have to have tons of friends, and you don’t have to change. You can be exactly who you are, right now, and still feel unshakably, unconditionally good. All you have to do is look for things to appreciate about your life. In each moment of your experience, there are thousands of things you could appreciate.
I’m proposing lifestreaming as a long-term solution for humanity as a whole. The technology may not be as prevalent as television (yet), and it still might feel weird to let go of some privacy and appear vulnerable in public. But when we look for things to appreciate about our lives and share them with others, it inspires other people to look for things to appreciate in their own lives.
If we can collectively train ourselves into a constant state of appreciation, we will be living in unconditional love. We will all feel good no matter what. Can you imagine?! For our species as a whole to operate from a place of love, instead of fear?
Lifestreaming may not be for everyone (yet…). But if it turns you off, ask yourself why. Would it make you feel conceited? Would it make you feel bad for sharing how good your life is when other people don’t have it as good? Would you be afraid of attack or backlash?
Remember that you are perfect, and you deserve to be celebrated. There is nothing to be afraid of (literally, I promise, I guarantee it!) because everything that happens in your life experience is a solution.
Lifestreaming as a life design practice, and as a technology, is still just a baby. There are infinite ways it can grow and expand and benefit us. For now, I’ll leave it as a way to practice appreciation, feeling good, and loving unconditionally. What happens after that is for you to discover.
Examples of lifestreaming love
There are as many ways to lifestream as there are ways to communicate. You can share photos, write about gratitude, or channel dolphins. Here are several lifestreamers creating huge waves of love in their lives that may inspire you to share more of your own incredible life.
- Sunny Smith: “so grateful that i am self-aware. so grateful that i can hear the hum. so grateful that i can feel the flow. so grateful that i can do this.”
- Novaa Veo: “I’ve got a lot of awesome happening in my life right now. Let’s talk about it.”
- Katja Simone: beautiful photography of the Now.
- Sarah Monster Gilbert: a brilliant artist sharing recent work.
- Betty Leigh Verbeke: “I love the life I am making. I love the reflections I’m seeing. It’s all just so ridiculously wonderful.”
- Jen Bullinger: “I’m grateful for new opportunities on the horizon. I’m grateful to know that when I start to make a move, the Universe matches me with an even more awesome rebuttal.”
- Kelly Cree: “it feels good to focus / to stay laser focused to hold / love in my heart / it feels good to take responsibility”
- Sara Whittemore: “What do you do after you make the choice? You change your perspective. Perspective change is similar to the concept of creating a new life story which allows you to change your thoughts by creating a new version of your present situation (your story).”
- Lorra Fae: “I just got hit with the stab of deep gratitude … How crazy it is to just be SLAMMED with this notion. It makes breathing a joy, just lying here in bed, inhabiting this body, fully present. Feeling ALIVE.”
- Mia Moore: “SO GRATEFUL THAT MY GOAL IS TO FEEL GOOD AND I AM SO GOOD AT ACCOMPLISHING IT! SO GRATEFUL I GET TO SMILE SO OFTEN! SO GRATEFUL THAT THIS IS REALLY MY LIFE! WOW, I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!”
- Lynn Fang: “Grateful to accept who I am. Grateful to express public gratitude. Grateful to break through walls, expand my consciousness, and ultimately gain greater self-confidence and awareness.”
- Erin Kys: “Ask for what you want. IT’S THAT EASY.” Plus: BACON CUPCAKES.
More lifestreaming resources
To join in on the life design and lifestreaming conversation, visit the School of Life Design Facebook group. For an introductory lesson on starting a lifestream practice, read the School of Life Design Lesson 2: Designing the Digital You. To start your own self-hosted website, please support the School of Life Design by getting a website through Bluehost. Finally, check out my lifestream too!
I love remembering that the meaning of life as I currently know it is simple: ask and it is given. We’re here to enjoy being alive, not struggle with endless, painful, secret desires and overwhelming, nagging, illogical worries. Life experience causes us to have desires, and when those desires are launched, source energy creates them. Anything you can imagine is not only possible, but already exists. Have the desire, and the desire becomes real.
Accessing the manifestation of those desires is a learning process. Finding the formula for living the lives we want to live is the eternal task of the living. Through the filter of “ask and it is given,” the formula is simple. Think about what you want, and then believe it will be given to you.
What does it mean to believe it will be given to you? It means to have 100% certainty that your desired manifestation is on the way, so you act like you already have it. For example, you may have 100% certainty that you’ll get a paycheck every two weeks, so you behave accordingly. You might not have the money to spend right this instant, but you can still spend the money you already have, because you trust there is more coming.
How do we act “as if” when we don’t yet have 100% certainty? We figure out how it feels, otherwise known as “practicing the feeling.” If you don’t know the feeling of riding a bike, you keep practicing riding until you get it. Learning to ride a bike is the same exact thing as learning to practice the feeling of having what you want.
An exercise I love to do every few weeks is to redefine my desires. I ask myself, “what do I truly want?” And then I ponder the desires behind the physical manifestations I want. I want money, but why? I want success, but why? I want those things because they will produce a specific feeling.
Exercise: What Do I Truly Want?
To practice the feeling of having what you want, try this simple exercise. Write about what you want in each major life category, and then ponder the feeling you want behind the physical manifestation. Afterwards, collect the “feelings” and turn them into affirmations. Focus all of your energy on feeling those feelings, day and night. Forget about the physical manifestations, and don’t take action to try to make them happen. Just feel the way you think you’ll feel when you get them, and you’ll have what you want without the manifestation. This is how you “act as if” or train yourself into believing what you ask for is already yours.
My example is below.
What Do I Truly Want?
Body/health
To be thin and svelte and look smokin in a bikini while playing at the Springs. I want to feel free and light and playful.
Money
To never worry about money. To have enough to buy anything I want. To trust I will always have what I need. To feel secure and like I’m taken care of. Like I’m loved. I want to be a millionaire because I want to feel loved.
Relationships
To be part of a family in a deep, sensual and thrilling way. I want to feel invested in and committed to my reality. I want to feel like I’m part of something bigger. I want to feel like every day is filled with excitement and thrills. Going boldly where no one has gone before. Exploring. Taking risks. Taking the risk of being vulnerable and reaching out with love. Taking the risk of giving love. Feeling the flow with multiple people at once. Like playing on a team.
Work
To be the best lifestreamer in the world and to lead by example. I want to feel with 100% certainty that the work I do is the work I came to this reality to do. I want to feel 100% confidence in myself.
Love
To love and support my partner in every way possible. To give my all to those closest to me. To find new ways to show my love. To open up more and more. To see the perfection in my partner. To see the best in my partner. To create new worlds with my partner. To be one with my partner and yet retain my uniqueness and independence. To let my partner give to me. To let myself receive. To help my partner receive the gifts I give her. I want to feel supportive and supported. I want to feel generous and receptive.
Affirm that you feel the way you want to feel already.
- I feel free and light and playful.
- I feel loved.
- I feel the flow with everyone around me.
- I feel like I’m on the same team as everyone else, part of something bigger than myself.
- I feel excited and thrilled.
- I feel bold, confident and spontaneous.
- I feel 100% certainty about every decision.
- I feel love and generosity towards those around me.
- I feel open, receptive, and uplifting.
Choose to feel good first.
Your mind won’t believe it.
It will tell you those tools and processes won’t work. They won’t feel as good as a drink, or a drug, or a drivethru.
Remember the last time life was running smoothly. What was different?
You decided to care about how you felt.
You told your mind to shut the fuck up.
Once you learn the lesson for yourself, you’ll forget.
But you’ll remember again, and this time it’s easier.
You’ll go higher, further, deeper.
When you get so low that you’re afraid for your health, or your safety, or your life,
just laugh. It’s not that serious. I promise.
Your laugh is your ticket to the ride back up.
When you feel good, milk it. Milk it, milk it, milk it.
Remember every detail. Paint pictures. Pray harder than ever before.
You’ll be so grateful you have a bookmarked place to return to.
When you start blaming caffeine, or weed, or your job for your bad mood,
remember that when you feel good, none of those things matter.
You can have it all.
Take a picture of your good feelings. Write them down.
When you feel bad enough, you’ll remember about your bookmarks.
How did I feel good again?
Eventually you’ll prove to yourself again and again,
feeling good is the only way to get what you want.
Feel good no matter what. Feel good no matter what.
When you catch that good feeling, memorize it.
Write about it. Be it. Bask in the feeling of feeling good
even though you’re broke. Even though you’re broken.
And what you want will come,
and you won’t care,
because you already have everything you need inside.
If you are reading this site, you are conscious. You understand that you are not your thoughts or feelings, because you can observe them. You are bigger. You are everything in your reality. You are the creator. You are god.
It doesn’t matter whether it was depression, hallucinogens, or luck that woke you up. All that matters is that consciousness is the new norm, a meme rippling through the world faster than “Shit White Girls Say.”
We are in the midst of a global awakening, where people are coming to know their divine power and learning how to use it. We all got hooked on the law of attraction, thinking we could finally manifest all the things we wanted. But this evolution of human consciousness is much bigger than learning how to attract money, health and love for ourselves.
Whether via meditation, movement, tragedy or DMT, more individuals are stepping back from their minds to don the broader perspective of life itself. We can feel our connectedness both online and off. There is no map or outline for the expansion of awareness, because we are writing it as we live it. The outcome of this evolution has yet to be determined. So I am writing this to ask: what do WE want? What do we want as a society? Where do we want to see humanity go? What do we want life to be like, now that we know it can be any way we wish?
As fun as it is to learn how to manifest my own desires, I’m starting to see how much better this would be if we all worked together. It’s a lot easier to believe something when other people believe it too.
What do we want to believe in together? I have my ideas, but I want yours too. For now I present a Life Design Manifesto, a public declaration of principles and intentions to direct the flow of this evolution, or more literally, the design of life itself. These are the things I want for everyone, and that I want everyone to want for me. If we all believe these principles to be true, then they are. And that’s the way life will unfold.
A Life Design Manifesto
- Life is an adventure, meant to be explored, expanded and enjoyed.
- Each individual is an integral and perfect beacon of light, burning with the same source energy that supports the thriving of all life.
- We know the creative power of our thoughts and direct our focus accordingly.
- We project a vibration of unconditional love.
- We let go the of the drive to achieve and surrender to the ability to receive.
- We choose a gift economy so that everyone can play.
- The Internet is our church, a single meeting place to uplift, inspire and appreciate each other.
- Our mission is to raise the vibration of human consciousness to joy, love, and freedom.
- None of this is serious, it’s all just for fun.
- We say YES!
Do you agree with these principles? If you do, go live them, share them, and celebrate them! Do you have any principles to add, or any changes you would make? Speak loud and proud! Let’s make this life design one we all want to live in together.
Every single one of us has the power to be the best at whatever we want to do. We all have access to the infinite creative power of the universe, and we all know that deep down, we deserve to shine. But sometimes we doubt our brightness, because we don’t know how to let it out, or we’re afraid of what other people think, or we think no one would want to look anyway.
What is a star?
On one hand, being a star can feel a little too ambitious. The word implies fame, fortune and paparazzi. But wealth and popularity are just side effects of stardom. What being a star actually means is a lot closer to the astronomical, outer space kind of star. It burns brightly. It is immense and radiant. It is a being of light.
You are a being of light. You are made of pure positive energy, of love and joy. It is natural to let that energy flow through you into the world. That’s why you came to this life, to experience the joy of transforming that burning energy into whatever creations you desire.
How do I let myself shine?
You know your inherent value. You know what beauty lies within you. You know that you have something to give to the world. You are unique, and the only one who can see your vision from concept to completion. You no longer have to doubt if you really are special and creative or not—it’s just a fact of life that you are. Here are a few ways to start tapping that infinite reservoir of creative power, so you can begin thinking and feeling like the star you already are.
1. If you don’t know where to start, just ask.
Often we know we have something to offer, but have no idea what that even is. There are a million things to be interested in, how do we choose the right path? If you have no idea what to create or what to do with your life, ask the source of life to show you. There is a glue that holds everything together, and you can call it god, or the flow, or source energy. Whatever you label that force, you can start asking it to help you right now. Just think about exactly what you want, and ask out loud or in your head or in a blog post. Try something like “Life, where should I begin?” Then let the thought go and trust the answer will come. It will.
2. Obsess over your positive qualities.
You can’t feel like a star if you dwell on what you deem to be negative aspects of yourself. You will only find the brightness within you if you give yourself love and make your mind feel safe enough to let the light peek through. When you focus on what you love about yourself, you will attract more things to love. Try making a list of 99 things you love about yourself, or filling out a Daily Self Love worksheet.
3. Focus.
Without focus, your light is diffused. The way to direct your light is by directing your thoughts. The most important thing you can do to focus is think about what you want, all day, every day. Think about what you want for your overall life direction, but also think about what you want in each little segment of your day. How do you want your drive to work to go? What do you want to feel when you wake up? How do you want your trip to the store to turn out? Focusing on what you want is the only way to get what you want.
When you don’t know what you want, or you find it hard to focus on anything but what you don’t want, the solution is simple: stop thinking. Any thoughts contrary to what you want will only negate the desire you’ve been focusing on. The easiest way I’ve found to stop thinking is silent counting, but you can also use exercise, meditation, or playing with flow toys to name a few.
4. Let go.
Feeling like the star you are will only come with practice, but don’t take it too seriously. Be easy on yourself. If you want to shine, you will. Trust that the universe will help you. Trust that the solution will come. Love yourself and think about what you want, but remember that this is supposed to be fun. Letting your natural light shine should feel easy. When you are in the flow, co-creating with god, you’ll know because it will feel effortless. That is what being a star is all about—life provides the energy, and you get to direct where it goes.
Note: the image in this article is not mine, but I’d love to know who made it! If you have any leads, please let me know!
Practice Noticing Coincidences Until They Become a Way of Life [free worksheet PDF]
2011 December 15
It’s no secret that I want to build a magical stationery empire. Something about the smell of colorful paper products just gets me wet! Over the past year, I’ve become obsessed with creating interactive thought direction tools—little exercises that help me feel good and think about what I want. These mini magick tricks all have the same goal: to help one practice feeling the way one wants to feel. How we feel attracts our thoughts, and our thoughts create our realities. Change your mood, change your thoughts, change your reality.
Many of my worksheets and thought direction tools are inspired by processes developed by Abraham-Hicks. One of the exercises Abraham suggests doing is a “List of Positive Aspects”. Take a subject you’re experiencing contrast with, and make a list of everything you like about it. Instead of dwelling on what you don’t like about something, this activity helps you practice the feeling of appreciation. That feeling then begins to create circumstances to appreciate in your reality, both about the specific subject and in every other area of your life.
I’ve tried to capture the essence of this process in the Universal Grocery List and 60 Things I Love About, but today I am happy to announce that Kelly finally nailed it! She has come up with a fresh design: 99 Things.
99 Things is a magician’s tool designed to help one practice the feeling of appreciation. You can make lists about people, places, or events. I start a new list every morning and use it to note everything I love about my day.
I’ve been using the Universal Grocery List for this purpose every single day since I made them. Aside from the Life Story books, they are my most powerful tool. I can always tell exactly how good I feel by how many things I can appreciate in my reality. The more I find, the more I find. It’s a total snowball effect—start in the morning by listing things you tend to take for granted anyway. A hot shower, a good breakfast, clean clothes, a warm home. As your day continues, you’ll start finding more and more exciting details to appreciate, synchronicities you would never have noticed otherwise. It is such a sweet way to guarantee a smooth ride through waking life.
Download 99 Things
I’m excited to share this worksheet with you in free PDF form! This PDF is one 11″ x 8.5″ page, with two lists per page. Cut or fold the page in half for a cute grocery list size.
Click here to download your free PDF!
Buy 99 Things NOTEPADS!
My master craftswoman Kelly has constructed these incredible glue-bound notepads of 99 Things lists for our personal use! Each notepad contains 50 pages of lists printed and hand bound on thick neon and white cardstock paper. Perfect if you don’t have time to print and cut your own, or as a gift for a friend. These notepads are guaranteed to create great waves of magick in your life. Read more on the 99 Things website, or go getcha some!
Thank you Kate!
The thoughts that you think as soon as you wake up set the tone for your entire day. Before you even turn off your alarm, you are thinking. I’ve found that if I can consciously choose to focus on gratitude and appreciation immediately upon waking, my day goes much more smoothly and it’s way easier to be in a good mood. If I don’t direct my thoughts as soon as I wake, it gets harder and harder to choose the feeling-good path as the day goes on.
Appreciate as soon as you open your eyes
Before you even roll out of bed, try to start thinking thoughts like “I appreciate my health. I appreciate my warm bed. I appreciate that I have working legs and can walk.” It’s easier to start with super basic stuff you take for granted.
Write about gratitude on the shitter
Don’t pretend you don’t read your phone on the toilet. As you release the waste from your body, fill up your mind with thoughts of gratitude (before you check Facebook, and before you check your email!). I promise you, add this ritual to your morning hygiene routine and your life will be forever changed for the better.
Begin the work of focusing your thoughts before you fully wake up. Begin while you’re groggy. You might not want to, but if you practice and get in the habit you won’t be able to stop. Choosing to feel good the instant you are conscious turns your morning into a launchpad for greatness. If you don’t, you may dig yourself a negative-thought-hole that you have to work much harder to get out of.
Thanks Cabreney!
I’ve been an eyeliner fanatic since I was 12. Maybe it’s because of my screwy witch eye, but I’ve always had a hard time getting both eyes to match. I finally learned a way to overcome this beauty handicap, and I think you might find it useful as well. Here is is: while applying your eyeliner, say to yourself (in your head, or you’ll mess up), “I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.”
Like playing Astrojax, applying eyeliner can go wrong when I have negative thoughts swirling through my head. It’s like my thoughts immediately influence my hand movements. When I focus on thinking “I love you,” my body cooperates with my desires and we all get to feel pretty.
