“I am turning my phone off.
I am turning Facebook and Twitter off.
I am turning email off.
I installed StayFocusd. I can use FB, twitter, and email combined for 30 minutes a day.
New Year’s resolution: Relax.
Mantra of 2015: 12345678910
Style direction of 2015: pool party on the moon.”
I love fresh starts. I love deciding to improve myself. However, after 32 years on this planet, I’ve learned to stop making grand sweeping claims that THIS TIME I AM GOING TO CHANGE! I SWEAR!
I’ve tried declaring sobriety and weightloss intentions. I’ve tried waking up early to go to the gym every day. I’ve tried to quit smoking, and I’ve tried to smoke more.
Who cares? Here I am in the same place at the same time, feeling distraught, wanting more sober time, with more weight to lose, and the same desire to MAKE IT this year, I swear this year my work is going to change the world!
I have a vision of this perfect self I want to become.
Skinny, with no attachment to alcohol, drugs or comfort food.
In peak physical condition, parkouring around my neighborhood and making new marathon PRs.
All with a hulahoop around my waist, and a camera crew documenting my every graceful move.
I wake up in the morning to write a mind blowing article about the meaning of life. I don’t need acid, and you don’t need acid, because I AM ACID!
Oh, also I get up at 6:30am. I meditate and clean my chakras with essential oils and crystals.
On the weekends I frolic at music festivals where I perform my magickal hoop gymnastics and heal people with my effortless embodiment of flow and well being. I never plan these trips because someone is always offering to drive me and pay for my ticket.
I wear my cat Pwny as a scarf when I run around town. Linty walks gracefully on a leash next to me. Kelly and I are constantly engrossed in deep conversation… without saying a word.
$5,000 we make a month comes to us in recurring, passive income. And that’s just from the 555 subscribers we have to the School of Life Design library. I’m also constantly getting asked to make photomanipulation illustrations for digital music, and to write How To blog posts for Erowid, Clickhole, High Times, Evolver, and other consciousness raising platforms.
Miraculously, all of my family loves me and my work. I always have perfect timing when it comes to my family, and we frequently get together to work out at the gym and have art parties.
I have the best friends, but I always Do Me, so if I can’t hang out because I’m incubating a mind-blowing project, I don’t feel guilty.
I NEVER feel guilty.
One day I woke up and mold didn’t grow in my bathroom and in the windowsills anymore.
My dad emailed to set up a monthly lunch, just me and him. My mom did the same, except we get to go shopping at Neiman’s and Nordstrom. And Dick’s.
I paid off all my debt this year. It was easier than I expected. The money just came.
Stores all around Austin are emailing me so they can stock copies of the Monthly Manifestation Manual. We make $10 off every copy sold, so that’s a nice additional $100/day we’re making.
My video meditations have really taken off, since my subscribers multiplied to 100,000. I just have a way with relaxing people and making them believe everything is going to be ok.
And while I am constantly doing me and working on my mind-blowing work, I have found it in my heart to be generous and always give what I want to receive.
I help people clean and improve their homes. I listen to people talk about their problems and offer telepathic advice. I share my resources and cook for my friends. I reach out to people to let them know I care. I give holiday gifts. I give birthday gifts. I give gifts all the time, just because. I give big hugs. I practice compassion all the days of my life. I always react with love.
When I do deliberately decide to go on a bender and party my ass off, I never feel sick the next day. I always stay conscious. I approach life evenly and calmly. I always let what I want come to me. I accept gifts and take no action.
I haven’t had a setback in 20 years. I am so deeply in love with myself. I would date myself if I could.
Also, I maintain my perfect health with herbal remedies, oils, and I use food as medicine.
In 2015 I finally lost that 20 pounds, made that $90,000 and let myself be the person I want to be. I am comfortable with performing in front of a live audience, and frequently collaborate with musicians who play behind me as I transfix my captive admirers.
Life became infinitely better for me in 2015, because I decided to
NEVER FEEL GUILTY AGAIN
and I just relax all day every day
and count silently in my head, keeping my mind and thoughts off “this world.”
Since I just keep feeling better and better, life keeps giving me solutions. I am finally solved.
10 hours later… Since I wrote this, I turned my phone back on to 64 texts. Checked my email and my mom had emailed me asking to do lunch. I changed my minutes allowed on email/FB/twitter to 10 minutes and that definitely got me out of my inbox and away from fb stalker-ville.
And I went to the gym and felt much better about life. I counted to 5900 and felt much better about life. I meditated and felt much better about life. I had some epiphanies in the shower and felt much better in life (I always practice presence when I’m feeling bad, because I want something. But when I try practicing it when I already feel good, it’s so much better/more powerful. I don’t usually milk the feeling of feeling good because I get sucked into thinking about the thing that made me feel good. But instead of thinking about what made me feel good, I should just let myself feel good. The more I encourage and focus on and pay attention to moments when I feel good, the more I will experience them).
I didn’t go to the liquor store on the way home (not that it matters!!!!) . I feel good about myself today. I can’t give you any resolutions for 2015 (although “relax” is definitely still the theme), but the ones I used today worked really well. I declare I already am the perfect version of myself.
“Those things you want to change about yourself probably won’t ever change anyway until you stop caring about changing.” ~Kelly Cree
Welcome to Tuesday Tips, the weekly digest of life design tricks and techniques. All of my suggestions come down to practicing the same idea: don’t worry, be happy! As Alan Watts says, “Basically, there is simply nothing to worry about, because you yourself are the eternal energy of the universe.”
1. Make art just to make art.
What if you could make any art you wanted, but couldn’t share it online? Is it still worth making if you can’t get likes and favs on it? Try creating something for the pure pleasure of it. Imagine the act of you making art as a one person show with a one person audience–you.
2. Make your art better.
When I was a kid, I would frequently win the coloring contests at my local grocery store. My secret was simple: just use something a little more creative than crayons. Cotton balls for clouds and bunny tails always seemed to do the trick. When making your own art, ask yourself, “How could I win the coloring contest?” Inspiration will come.
3. Try this mantra: “I love myself, right now.”
I made a nice meditation about this one. If you can repeat it over and over eventually you’ll train your mind into manifesting circumstances in which you actually do love yourself right now. It’s really neat!
4. Remember your power. Every thought is a prayer!
If you haven’t checked out E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality yet, please do! It explains so many concepts of conscious creation with humor and ease. Here’s a little testament to the power of your mind: “The only reason Jesus could walk on water was because 100 percent of his thoughts (prayers) believed he could. He had overcome the world’s thought system that says Only an idiot would be stupid enough to step out of the boat. There was not one doubt–not a single thought (prayer) in his consciousness that didn’t fully believe it.”
5. Read David Cain’s blog, Raptitude.
I was going to pile a bunch more tips in this edition based on David’s articles, but you should really just go read them yourself. First: Why most problems never have to be solved. To summarize: write down each problem as it occurs to you on a post-it. Then go through your post-its at the end of the week and prove to yourself how many things do work themselves out. Then read The First World’s biggest addiction. David explains how every time we reach for coffee or alcohol or food or our phones, “we are training ourselves to be needy and dependent on circumstances.” Finally, check out 15 unexpected side-benefits to living in the present moment to convince your mind to try it out, right now.
6. Examine your anxiety.
I came across this tumblr post about the long term effects of anxiety: shortness of breath, rashes, headaches, and fatigue to name a few. I’ve had all of those symptoms and it suddenly occurred to me that my inexplicable asthma and allergies are likely just caused by anxiety. Again and again I remind myself to relax and stop worrying. Now that I have made the connection between my thoughts and physical symptoms, I can be more conscious of my triggers, and more devoted to chilling the eff out.
7. Find your muse: channel desire into creativity.
You know when you want someone so bad it drives you crazy and you can’t think of anything else? You can tap into that energy and use it to drive your creative work. From Think and Grow Rich:
The energy must be transmuted from desire for physical contact, into some other form of desire and action, before it will lift one to the status of a genius…The salesman who knows how to take his mind off the subject of sex, and direct it in sales effort with as much enthusiasm and determination as he would apply to its original purpose, has acquired the art of sex transmutation.
8. If you flow, you’re a flower.
I found this gem by Forest Sage in the Universal Geometry Spirit Science video. “If you labor, you are a ‘laborer’. If you work on a farm, you are a ‘farmer’. And if you flow, you are a ‘Flower’.” Finally, an answer to, “What do you do?”
9. Be a joy for yourself to watch.
This reality you’re seeing is for your eyes only. You are the performer, and you are the audience. Don’t let what other people think influence what you do. Just do what delights you, right now. Sing while you do the chores. Type with a flourish. Sit up straight and smile for your camera. The only purpose this moment has is for you to enjoy it. And when you take pleasure in being yourself, others will too.
Welcome to Tuesday Tips, a weekly collection of ideas that help me live more consciously. This week the tips are focused on health, both for your body and your mind. My current recipe for well being is to bless your food, bless your muscles, perform your actions with love and take responsibility for everything in your reality.
1. Bless your food.
I got this idea from E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality. The premise is that your food responds to energy, so if you send it happy thoughts it will work harmoniously with your body, but if you view food as your enemy, it will stick to you and torture you. Think of your food as living entities that can hear you. Send love and your body will receive love from the food. My current blessing goes like this: “I now bless this food with peace, love and joy. May it nourish my body and bring me health, vitality and energy. I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you.”
2. Visualize strong, beautiful muscles during a workout.
Often I try to escape my workouts by thinking about something outside of the now. But lately I’ve been paying attention to what my instructor says: “Visualize! Big beautiful muscles! Look at your gorgeous bodies!” Little did I know I could quadruple (scientific fact!) the effects of my exercise, just by being present and thinking about what I want. When I’m doing squats, I think, “Strong, beautiful legs! Strong, gorgeous ass!” When I’m doing shoulders, I think, “Strong, beautiful shoulders!” And when I’m doing things that are really hard for me, like pushups, I think, “I’m getting stronger! Strong, beautiful chest!” This concentrated attention placed on your body will have you seeing results instantly. Notice it, get more of it!
3. Whatever you’re doing, feel love for it.
If you’re doing something that you’re not exactly 100% passionate about, train yourself to enjoy it. I was making thank you cards with colored pencils the other day, and at first it was a chore. But then I started thinking, “I love coloring!” and lo and behold, I began truly appreciating the activity. I do actually love coloring! I just have to stop thinking about other things and be present long enough to enjoy it.
4. Take 100% responsibility for your reality.
I took part of my food blessing above from Ho’oponopono philosophy, which is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. By repeating the mantra, “I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you,” we may reach a limitless state where we realize everything in reality is just a projection from within. By taking responsibility for our own actions, as well as the actions of others, we can be at peace because all desired change comes from within.