2012
5 Comments 
Choose to feel good first.
Your mind won’t believe it.
It will tell you those tools and processes won’t work. They won’t feel as good as a drink, or a drug, or a drivethru.
Remember the last time life was running smoothly. What was different?
You decided to care about how you felt.
You told your mind to shut the fuck up.
Once you learn the lesson for yourself, you’ll forget.
But you’ll remember again, and this time it’s easier.
You’ll go higher, further, deeper.
When you get so low that you’re afraid for your health, or your safety, or your life,
just laugh. It’s not that serious. I promise.
Your laugh is your ticket to the ride back up.
When you feel good, milk it. Milk it, milk it, milk it.
Remember every detail. Paint pictures. Pray harder than ever before.
You’ll be so grateful you have a bookmarked place to return to.
When you start blaming caffeine, or weed, or your job for your bad mood,
remember that when you feel good, none of those things matter.
You can have it all.
Take a picture of your good feelings. Write them down.
When you feel bad enough, you’ll remember about your bookmarks.
How did I feel good again?
Eventually you’ll prove to yourself again and again,
feeling good is the only way to get what you want.
Feel good no matter what. Feel good no matter what.
When you catch that good feeling, memorize it.
Write about it. Be it. Bask in the feeling of feeling good
even though you’re broke. Even though you’re broken.
And what you want will come,
and you won’t care,
because you already have everything you need inside.
The hypnagogic state.
Do. Be. Do. Be. Do. Be.
I let it come to me.
I’ll just turn everything sideways
and walk up the crossways
walk down me I’m a walkway
Flying practice!
Every moment is practice now.
The flow knows and so do I.
October comes
everything on beat!
laughter, suddenly you can call me
thank you for this new whitespace
this blank canvas
iteration.iteration.iteration.
does poetry always devolve
into a letter to a muse?
because I got it bad.
spinach smoothies
and flying sessions
dreams accelerating into reality
faster and faster
what would a Magician do?
continuity in health
to turn off time
the flow knows
sometimes I go to write
just for the feeling
of flow arms
evaporating, flowing arms
Kelly for teaching me poetry
remember learning poetry?
I didn’t get it
except when I did
business cards! websites!
facebook pages! hot dates!
trampolines! aliens!
driving the car with my ribbon arms
rappers all know the flow
so do gymnasts and group fitness presenters
musicians and artists, maybe designers
the flow knows
designer punctuation
conversations about the poetry of the vortex
between stanzas of poetry about the vortex
gay
I am not what I believe.
I am the creator of beliefs.
I am not my thoughts.
I am the creator of thoughts.
I am not this body.
I am the creator of this body.
I am not even Jessica.
I am the creator of Jessica.
I am not created.
I am the creator.
Who are you?
4am, awake
no alarms
only pineapple upsidedown pancakes
getting married to my girlfriend
again and again
listening to the optimist’s anthem
6am, the laundry’s almost done!
smoothies and gratitude
thankful for thankfulness
7am, life design recording complete
talking and talking
i think you’ll really like this one!
8am, running! RUNNING!
lungs exploding open
yet taking it so eaaaasy
9am, cleaned up
10am, fingers flying
11am, LESSON 4 IS DONE!
12pm, driving through clouds
1pm, waving at stephen on the highway
tripping, groceries, tripping
2pm, naps, dialing 911 in my sleep
“what is your emergency?”
“i need to reset my alarm!”
3pm, rainstorm, joystorm llc
4pm, driving through the storm to joy’s
video games and puppies
6pm, dinnertime, we’re out of tomatoes!
run to the store
manifest my snails!
7pm, best dinner ever
kale salad, mango and dates
esther soothing away
8pm, craigslist sale success!
9pm, website restore miracle!
10pm, here we are
i manifested this day
I. MANIFESTED. THIS. DAY.
it was everything i intended.
oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh
the right stuff
this morning began
at 3 something pm
hazy, lazy, processed
lint slept in my gut
i had good dreams
the point was already
tipping
i rolled over
full of poison
“one rubbin please”
ask and it is given
i looked in the mirror
judging for an instant
“FUCK IT” i yelled
and relief crashed in
look how pretty i am today!
shitted some gratitude
changes my attitude
golden minds
are magick wands
today i am INSPIRED!
again.
food orders placed
intentions placed
lists written and observed
to the kitchen!
to the smoothies!
there is so much more
well-being than not!
a RAMPAGE
played twice
some jams
that are nice!
saltwater and advil
change everything.
poetry is such a
simple
medium.
you can call it good
or bad.
it doesn’t matter.
i used to be obsessed
with writing
poetry in high school.
song lyrics, death metal.
die die die.
kelly has brought me
new
perspective
like she does
every single day
she inspires me
she is source
she is my sandy beach
and my sun
with her i appreciate
everything
with her i get more
of what i notice
with her everything is new
pussy poppin
she is in the moment
she is the moment
i look at her
and the moment freezes
lifestreamed like a
string of pearls
i write poetry now
i love the moment
i do not give a fuck
and when i do
i say
fuck it
