Tag: thought medicine

Seed of life

Tuesday Tips: 9 Ways to Blossom Right Now

Seed of life

Welcome to Tuesday Tips, the weekly digest of life design tricks and techniques. All of my suggestions come down to practicing the same idea: don't worry, be happy! As Alan Watts says, "Basically, there is simply nothing to worry about, because you yourself are the eternal energy of the universe."

Doing

1. Make art just to make art.
What if you could make any art you wanted, but couldn't share it online? Is it still worth making if you can't get likes and favs on it? Try creating something for the pure pleasure of it. Imagine the act of you making art as a one person show with a one person audience--you.

2. Make your art better.
When I was a kid, I would frequently win the coloring contests at my local grocery store. My secret was simple: just use something a little more creative than crayons. Cotton balls for clouds and bunny tails always seemed to do the trick. When making your own art, ask yourself, "How could I win the coloring contest?" Inspiration will come.

Thinking

3. Try this mantra: "I love myself, right now."
I made a nice meditation about this one. If you can repeat it over and over eventually you’ll train your mind into manifesting circumstances in which you actually do love yourself right now. It’s really neat!

4. Remember your power. Every thought is a prayer!
If you haven't checked out E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality yet, please do! It explains so many concepts of conscious creation with humor and ease. Here's a little testament to the power of your mind: "The only reason Jesus could walk on water was because 100 percent of his thoughts (prayers) believed he could. He had overcome the world's thought system that says Only an idiot would be stupid enough to step out of the boat. There was not one doubt--not a single thought (prayer) in his consciousness that didn't fully believe it."

5. Read David Cain's blog, Raptitude.
I was going to pile a bunch more tips in this edition based on David's articles, but you should really just go read them yourself. First: Why most problems never have to be solved. To summarize: write down each problem as it occurs to you on a post-it. Then go through your post-its at the end of the week and prove to yourself how many things do work themselves out. Then read The First World’s biggest addiction. David explains how every time we reach for coffee or alcohol or food or our phones, "we are training ourselves to be needy and dependent on circumstances." Finally, check out 15 unexpected side-benefits to living in the present moment to convince your mind to try it out, right now.

Feeling

6. Examine your anxiety.
I came across this tumblr post about the long term effects of anxiety: shortness of breath, rashes, headaches, and fatigue to name a few. I've had all of those symptoms and it suddenly occurred to me that my inexplicable asthma and allergies are likely just caused by anxiety. Again and again I remind myself to relax and stop worrying. Now that I have made the connection between my thoughts and physical symptoms, I can be more conscious of my triggers, and more devoted to chilling the eff out.

7. Find your muse: channel desire into creativity.
You know when you want someone so bad it drives you crazy and you can't think of anything else? You can tap into that energy and use it to drive your creative work. From Think and Grow Rich:

The energy must be transmuted from desire for physical contact, into some other form of desire and action, before it will lift one to the status of a genius...The salesman who knows how to take his mind off the subject of sex, and direct it in sales effort with as much enthusiasm and determination as he would apply to its original purpose, has acquired the art of sex transmutation.

Being

8. If you flow, you're a flower.
I found this gem by Forest Sage in the Universal Geometry Spirit Science video. "If you labor, you are a 'laborer'. If you work on a farm, you are a 'farmer'. And if you flow, you are a 'Flower'." Finally, an answer to, "What do you do?"

9. Be a joy for yourself to watch.
This reality you're seeing is for your eyes only. You are the performer, and you are the audience. Don't let what other people think influence what you do. Just do what delights you, right now. Sing while you do the chores. Type with a flourish. Sit up straight and smile for your camera. The only purpose this moment has is for you to enjoy it. And when you take pleasure in being yourself, others will too.

40 Day Prosperity Plan: Day 7 / Addiction Therapy

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Prosperity Plan Day 7: The Divine Consciousness that I am is forever expressing its true nature of Abundance. This is its responsibility, not mine. My only responsibility is to be aware of this Truth. Therefore, I am totally confident in letting go and letting God appear as the abundant all sufficiency in my life and affairs.

I fell asleep while meditating today. I'm trying to get off coffee and the first day can be hard. I read, "Therefore, I am totally confident in letting go and letting God appear as the abundant all sufficiency in my life and affairs," then leaned backwards onto my yoga mat. I smushed my cold hands under my robed bottom and closed my eyes.

Today I felt tormented by addiction to such mainstream crap as beer and fried food. TORMENTED, I tell you! Every day I vacillate in attitudes between "FUCK YEAH I DO WHAT I WANT" and "FUCK ME WHY DO I ALWAYS SELF SABOTAGE".

I want to create my best work but then there is always a bottle of whiskey to finish or a bowl to smoke, and I've given up the preschool notion that I can create while fucked up.

So I go 5 days without drinking or smoking and feel so good and I reach this point where I feel good and good things are happening but it's like the natural high is wearing off... Even though good things are happening I don't feel as good anymore, so why NOT have a drink? Why NOT loosen up my mental knots with a 1 hitter?

I am so terrified to be honest in my writing and with myself, what if I get caught talking about smoking weed! My fear of authority is so outlandish even I don't take it seriously.

Then I find my band of girls on the Internet that make me feel better about myself, Cat Marnell, Rabbit White, Sadderall. I wish I could go back to my more hard-drug infested life because there are people who still have fun in this lifestyle, why can't I? Why do I have to get attached to every tiny thing that I like, dragging it around with me until I trip over it?

I miss the way I would open up my consciousness and marvel at all the dark, slimy bits. Now I jerk paragraphs of gratitude out of my fingers like I'm masturbating a dry vag, trying to get the tiniest semblance of good feeling out of my "work".

That's not true! screams some voice that I'm not sure if it's my higher self, my mind, or an internalized version of Kelly/my dad.

My writing practice is worthwhile and it is nice to think about what I'm grateful for but you know what today I am just going to write whatever I want and stop caring about following a formula so I can trick myself into feeling better so I can manipulate my mind into thinking good thoughts so I can transform my reality into something "better".

This is the only reality you got, sister. Time to start appreciating the dark, slimy bits.




I'm filled with incredible relief, to think that I could write without being formulaic. Without forcing a smile. But wait! Aren't you retreating into the person you used to be? The teenager angry about how unfair life is, the 21 year old vomiting because she thinks her insides are poison??

Who knows? *Lights one hitter*

I certainly can't keep thinking about "positivity" and I've about had it up to here with my "tips". Those tips are great the first time I realize them, but...

Quit questioning your own work! Stand behind your own work! You would be more successful if you felt more successful! Be proud of what you've accomplished!

And tears sting in my eyes (to use an overused phrase that is convenient right now), because I can hear that time it's my mom's voice. I'm trying, mom! I'm trying so hard to believe in myself! I'm trying to do what I think I'm supposed to, and I'm also doing what I think I'm not supposed to, and once in a while I just stop trying and I see it's all as it's supposed to be! What more can I FUCKING DO???

And I remember my earlier thoughts today, thinking about addiction being a "condition" passed down through families, I used to think my family was so perfect and immune, that I better be the one to dirty it up! But they were all already dirty they just wanted me to think I was clean, I don't know maybe something could change then...

I have framed my life long existential crisis as magickal *LIFE DESIGN*! And now I can hear my higher self coming to whisper, your life is magickal. It's all magickal. It's a cycle and you're going to keep going down and up but every time you go up you say it's worth it. You came to know the pattern of on/off have/want and now it's yours.

Why don't materially wealthy people do "the prosperity plan"? Why, after all these years, can I still not think and eat LESS? Why am I concerned with becoming physically LESS?

Why am I perpetuating these questions as reflections of my belief system? Why can't I change my beliefs faster? Why can I change my beliefs? Why do I feel like I'm talking in a spiral?

If I were a doctor, I would prescribe a big ol' dose of DMT right now.

*My mind shrieks from the corner* DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT TOOK TO BUILD THIS MENTAL STRUCTURE????

Then I realize I am asking for radical change, mental earthquakes and ...

All I know is I cannot get involved. I can start looking more closely at the dark and slimy bits, but I must detach. I must get off the roller coaster.

The roller coaster of basing how I feel/my self worth on
- what I ate
- how much I exercised
- how much money I make
- how I make money
- what I say
- who I say it to
- Internet engagement (i.e., likes)
- how my partner feels
- how much attention I get

Will I finally be happy when I eat 1200 calories a day, workout 2 hours a day, make $60,000 a year, become Instagram famous, make everyone happy, and have everyone in the building crushing on me?

My mind is sooooooo tempted to say yes.
Yes, then I will be skinny. Yes, then I will not have to worry. Yes, then I will be able to pursue the things I really want to do. Yes, then my work will probably be better. Yes, then I will be so distracted by flirting that all of life will be 100% fun.

Let's wrap up this elaborate therapy session. So, what I'm hearing from you, higher self, is this:
"Get off the roller coaster. Be happy today."

And from my mind I hear,
"Only when I have become the person I want to be can I be happy."

Ok mind. The person I want to be is getting off the roller coaster.

The Emperor tarot

Tuesday Tips: 8 Ways to Feel Your Way Out…

The Emperor tarot

All problems can be solved with a little love and light. As corny as it sounds, more hugs and "I love yous" and less criticism and effort can bring you faster and more permanent relief than any pharmaceutical drug.

Doing

1. Have a hug quota!
Family therapist Virginia Satir says, "We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth." Hug your partner more, hug your friends more, hug your family more. It feels so good and it's such good medicine.

Thinking

2. Play the game "You Spot It, You Got It."
Everything you observe in your reality is a part of you whether you like it or not. When you notice success, you become more successful. When you call someone ugly, you become more ugly yourself. Kelly and I were looking at a celeb photo gallery of Kim Kardashian and I noticed we were starting to trash her. "You spot it, you got it!" I exclaimed. So we started looking for things we liked about the photos. When we didn't have anything nice to say about Kim, we complimented the environment or the composition of the photo. It's a much more fun scavenger hunt that cutting down people out of jealousy.

3. Try this mantra: "I love you too."
Some weird glitch in the matrix caused a text message from my friend to get resent over and over about 20 times the past few days. But lucky for me, the text said, "I love you too!" Kelly and I started saying it to each other all the time for no reason, and it was fun! Then we started saying about people we've had drama with, and strangers on the street. No matter who it is or what they've done, shoot a little telepathic "I love you too" to them and feel yourself and the world healing.

4. Try this mantra: "I give up."
Ever find yourself trying way too hard, or wanting something too badly? Just give up and let yourself be carried away by the flow. When you stop trying and resisting, life will bring the solution.

Feeling

5. In pain? Try to just "feel" it.
I had a headache and was trying everything to get rid of it. Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra often suggest just "feeling" the pain because there is no pain in the Now. If you just place your attention on the pain, the light of your consciousness will dissolve it. So I tried it with my headache, and realized that I've been afraid to feel my pain because my mind doesn't know how to "solve" it. But I felt the pain and said, "It's ok, I love you no matter what." I just sat there, feeling the pain. It stopped hurting, and within minutes my headache dissolved.

6. Tell everything in your reality, "I love and accept you exactly the way you are."
Use this technique to bring your attention to the Now and project a vibration of love. Pet your cat and say "I love and accept you exactly the way you are." Say it to the lamp, to the walls, to your shower curtain. Take the time to truly appreciate what's right in front of your eyes.

7. Practice feeling deserving.
Louise Hay provides this excellent exercise in You Can Heal Your Life. Look in the mirror and say, "I deserve to be or have __________ and I accept it now." Pay attention to how you feel--do you feel accepting, or unworthy? If you feel unworthy, say, "I release the pattern in my consciousness that is creating resistance to my good. I deserve _________." Do this exercise every day until you start feeling truly accepting, and open up to receiving your good!

Being

8. When you sit down to meditate, ask, "What is it I need to know?"
This is another idea from You Can Heal Your Life. Ask right as you begin your session, and then quietly and patiently wait for the answer. If it doesn't come while you're sitting don't worry--it will come eventually.

Daily Guide to Life Design #5: Decide What to…

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A few weeks ago, Kelly told me she wanted to write a story about growing teeth back. "Neat. But... whatever," I thought. I didn't believe in no stinkin' teeth growing back. But wouldn't it be nice?

A few days later she stumbled across an article linking tooth regeneration to nutrition. It might not have been the most reputable source, but holy crap! Tooth regeneration!

Then a couple days ago I discovered the idea of "oil pulling," where you swish coconut oil around in your mouth for 20 minutes a day. The antibacterial oil pulls toxins from your teeth and may even heal cavities. I shared the article on Facebook and lo and behold, I already had friends trying the practice!

Today a friend encouraged me to try the oil pulling myself. I did so begrudgingly, but it really wasn't that gross. I don't have any cavities, but I sure want to keep it that way.

To recap: in less than a month, Kelly and I went from wanting to believe in tooth regeneration, to seeing evidence of it everywhere, to finding ways to test the theory ourselves.

What do you want to believe? Make your list and let the universe provide the evidence! Start looking for the TINIEST speck of proof that your belief is true, and you'll start a snowball of indicators that will eventually result in your belief becoming truth.

xr rainbow pill

Daily Guide to Life Design #3: Adderall

xr rainbow pill

Does seeing the word Adderall make you salivate? Does it unleash an unreasonable craving, or pull up fun memories?

On November 24, 2013, I quit taking addies for good. I needed too much, I was abusing it, to the point that a friend had to step in and say something.

I've been experimenting with the medicine since I was 15, when someone at school gave me a tiny blue 5mg pill. Eager to try anything my parents said I shouldn't, I began a 16 year infatuation with legal speed.

Adderall is just too good. It keeps you awake, makes you feel euphoric, lets you drink more alcohol and eat less food.

It is also a highly addictive amphetamine, and few people I know are able to turn it down when offered.

There's nothing wrong with taking some occasional speed. And there may be some people in the universe who genuinely benefit from their prescription. But if you are a star child here to help consciousness evolve, it might be time to let the uppers go. According to starchildren.info,

It is critically important that if your child gets diagnosed with ADD or ADHD that you don’t run out and join the medicated child bandwagon. Medicating these special children will severely inhibit their abilities. This is a really easy option for many parents who just aren't patient or can't handle their Indigo children. Try to look at the bigger picture. You and your child have both previously agreed to your arrangement before you even set foot on this earth. Know that children can be handled without medication. This may be very difficult for some parents so consider joining a support group or even better, order up an angel to help you! It's a difficult journey but one that can be made through together. The problem with medicating Indigo Children is that it lowers their vibrational frequency. They will be unable to or find it extremely difficult to fulfill their life's purpose at this lower energy level.

After taking high doses of addy and observing my behavior, I noticed the drawbacks were beginning to outweigh the advantages. I constantly felt "lacking," waiting for my next dose. There is never enough. I don't want to share. After a few days on the stuff, I could barely smile because the tension in my head was so high. And coming down off an addy binge is horrific--no motivation, shortness of breath, weakness, boredom and depression, and wanting to eat every pizza I see.

Adderall takes such a prominent place in my daily life design guide because I see it as a mind-based epidemic spiraling out of control like obesity. It's a symptom of our collective psychotic mind, over-thinking so much that we need an energy boost to keep up. Want another perspective? Check out Cat Marnell's explanation of why we all need to finally get off the Adderall.

I feel so much better when I'm off addy. I'm glad I got to have all the fun I did with it, but it's no longer serving my spiritual evolution. I write this having just drunk 2 shots of espresso, another legal stimulant I may someday wish to let go. Baby steps though right?

How do you feel about Adderall, legal speed, and uppers in your life design practice?

I’m Going to Rehab

Art by Kelly Cree

In response to my embarrassing coming out story, Jered Schue asked me what I'm going to do to change. What am I going to promise to myself? Obviously I got myself into this predicament, I can get myself out.

Budgeting? Not my style. Cutting up my credit cards? Tempting, but too complicated for me to even think about right now (although I still haven't used one since April 4. Huge deal.)

I let the question sit for days, and asked for the answer to come in meditation. I know that taking action isn't the answer, so it would have to be actions I could stop taking. Stop doing. Let go of.

It just came to me while meditating about half an hour ago. For 30 days, beginning Monday April 15, I'm going to rehab. Jessica Mullen's School of Life Design Rehab for Thought, Drug, Alcohol, and Credit Card Addicts.

1. Straightedge, baby!
Someone actually emailed me suggesting I "might go sober." My first thoughts: no way! Too simple! I like having fun! People who don't drink don't have any crazy stories!

Then she says "HOT DAMN it's so radical and lovely to be even caffeine free" and I know she's right. She reminds me of my therapist I loved so dearly.

Drugs have shown me so much, but I do want to get "there" naturally. I want ecstasy without the E. I want to feel one with the universe without DMT. I want to feel so proud of myself for being so brave without the mushrooms. I want to feel carefree and fun without the alcohol. I want to feel in awe of life without weed. I want to know the big picture while dead sober. That's true power.

2. 15 minutes of seated meditation every day, no excuses.
So... I took a few months off meditating because I was too busy having fun. Life got good, and I coasted. But as Kamal Ravikant talks about in Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It, you still have to do the work when you feel good. That's what keeps the good times rolling.

This is an easy habit to get back into. Meditating is fun and exquisitely rewarding.

3. Eat vegetarian. Eeeease back into vegan.
I just stopped caring. I had too many drunken cheeseburgers to eat. But I know I feel better when I'm not eating flesh.

4. Say "I love myself" to myself all day, every day.
Everything else is way too stressful to think about right now.

5. Take my own advice.
Mainly I want to do my own worksheets every day because they work so well. In a perfect world, I would do a Daily Planner, a Daily Self Love, a Gathering Momentum, a Universal Order Form, a Life Story, a Flower of Life Design Template, and a Practice the Feeling of Abundance worksheet every day. Well fuck it then, I'll print out a 30 day supply, make little packets for each day, and see where it takes me. I commit.

That's it and that's all. I'll keep doing my other regular work—Tuesday Tips, Daily Meditations, and my newsletter.

This is a killer experiment. I didn't even ask Kelly if she wants to do it with me yet. I have to commit before telling anyone or I'll care too much what they think. I gotta do what I gotta do. I'm doing me.

But first, I'm going to have to finish this bottle of vodka. Cheers!

Let Life be Your Caffeine

coffee!

Why do we drink so much coffee? Most of us may answer something like, "I drink coffee because I don't have enough time to sleep as much as I should." Life is too exciting, there's too much to see, and way too much to do. How can anyone keep up with the speed of business and technology if they sleep 8 hours a night?!

We are so dependent on caffeine because of the limiting beliefs surrounding it. It's one of those things like deodorant that we just don't question much because it's so ingrained in our daily lives. But as I learn to focus on being the Now, I'm realizing I use caffeine and other stimulants because I'm not fully trusting the flow of life to take care of me.

The limiting beliefs of caffeine

1. Without caffeine, I won't have enough energy to do the things I don't want to do.
2. Without caffeine, I won't have enough energy to do the things I DO want to do.
3. Without caffeine, I can't keep up with everyone else in the business world.
4. Without caffeine, I'll be in a bad mood because I'll be tired.
5. Life just isn't as fun without something outside of me to make me feel good.

Every one of those beliefs is terribly flawed, as I'm sure you can see. I don't need to get into the why's—you know that each one of those thoughts is a trained belief that has been installed and perpetuated by our collective society. But what is behind each one of those beliefs? A lack of trust in the process of life.

Life knows the way

The thing about life is that it's much simpler than we build it up in our minds to be. There is a glue that holds us all together, and that glue communicates with us through our emotions. When we feel good, we're working with the glue. When we feel bad, we're struggling against the glue—a hopeless battle. The glue (or flow, or source, or god, etc) always knows what's up, because the glue IS everything. So when you feel the glue telling you something via your emotions, such as "All I want to do is sleep," then LISTEN. Don't drink coffee to battle the glue. It will always fail, and you will continue to feel worse because you aren't listening to what life is telling you what to do.

Life wants so badly to bring you to the things you want. It doesn't care what you want, it just wants to co-create with you and flow from here to there. When you listen to your emotions, you are letting life guide you towards what you want.

So right now, life is telling me that I don't have to skimp on sleep or be hyper on espresso to get what I want. Life will take me to where I want to go in a way that is easiest and most comfortable for me. On the days when it's important for me to get up early, life will wake me up before my alarm clock. On days when nothing I do could change a thing, life will let me sleep for 12 hours. It's not my job to decide how much sleep I need. It's not even my job to set my alarm. If I fully trust the flow of life, the flow of life will take me exactly where I want to go. And I'll feel so much less cracked-out when I get there.

Note: this article is written to those of us in the throes of caffeine addiction, not casual drinkers. Everything in life is delicious in moderation, it's only when we begin to rely on things outside of ourselves to feel good that we lose connection to our own internal guidance systems.

Kelly Kaleidoscope

The Easiest Meditation in the World, or, How to…

Kelly Kaleidoscope

The other day, I asked the universe to deliver me a Burning Man world. I just wanted it to be ok for me to sit still and bask in visual hallucinations. I wanted to enjoy just being, while gazing at the ever changing beauty of the Now. Is that so much to ask?! Haha... well, the universe hooked it up as usual.

Yesterday Kelly and I had some time to live before work. As we excitedly browsed strip malls far from our own neighborhood, the flow pulled us into a little store called Kids-N-Cats. Within we found an assortment of treasures, stash boxes and toys. Our one purchase: a Jumbo Glitter Wand Kaleidoscope (similar to this one).

As I gazed through the test model in the store, I knew my desire had manifested. I stared into the tube, transfixed, until we had to leave. Then for another several minutes in the car. Then another 10 once we got home. Then more. Then more. I was addicted!

Kaleidoscope gazing is a form of visual meditation that can pull one instantly into the Now. After my little gazing sessions, when I close my eyes, I can still see the flowing patterns. I've never found an easier way to stop thinking, because the view is just too beautiful to be concerned with much else.

Whenever you feel bad or get your feelings hurt, just look into a kaleidoscope and count to ten and you'll feel better. It's like a magick wand. It helps you release resistant thoughts, allowing what you want to flow to you.

Kaleidoscope gazing as a cure for Amblyopia (Lazy Eye)

Kelly Kaleidoscope

I was born with amblyopia, or a lazy eye. It doesn't affect my daily life much, but I had to have surgery as a baby and wear glasses through 3rd grade. They even tried to get me to wear an eye patch.

Last night as I looked through the 'scope with my "good" eye, I physically felt an imbalance—my "bad" eye was basically screaming "let me try it!" I held it up to my right eye, which normally can't focus on much, and gasped as I began to comprehend what I was seeing. What my left eye makes out as clear shapes of glitter and confetti, my right eye interpreted as fractals. It was as if my right eye was finally seeing the proper "depth" it was tuned to. It made me realize that my developmental "problem" was really just a manifestation of the thought pattern "this reality isn't deep enough!"

My eye hungrily drank in the flowing fractals, ecstatic to finally see something. I relaxed and basked in the manifestation I'd been wanting for 29 years. And guess what happened? The longer I looked, the clearer the actual shapes in the 'scope became. My eye was getting stronger by the moment. I can still hardly believe it, but I think I finally found a way to combine the vision of my "normal" eye with the vision of my "screwy" eye (as they called it in middle school!). I never imagined my desire for a "Burning Man world" would manifest in such a monumental manner.

A metaphor for life

Life itself is a kaleidoscope—every moment is beautiful, but you can never hold onto one. It is always flowing, always surprising, and always perfect. Every tiny sparkle and movement is infinitely reflected in dazzling patterns stretching as far as the eye can see. Kaleidoscopes are just another fractal of the universe itself; it's amazing what simplicity can teach. Thank you, universe.

Below is a brief video of the view through the 'scope, though it doesn't come close to the real thing! I highly recommend trying it out for yourself. If you are a "visual" person, this is the magick wand for you. Check it out on Amazon, and if you'd like to support the School of Life Design, please use my affiliate link to make your purchase :]